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BLEEDING

Once forever then
no more, re-evaluating
what came before.

Time in years
a distant contract
with mortality, static
possibilities still vivid
within passing seasons.

Captured too far along to
be enraptured a legacy that
begs to be beyond the etchings
that mark a spot, a demise not
where this flesh was begot.

My seed the bleeding of this being
the probabilities of the ever after
without conceding.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

I know I read this one, but I wanted to read it again, great stuff.

Love Louise xxxx

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

I can't spot typos as im the typo queen LOL !!!!

love Louise xx

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

thanks for your input on this one
no worries on the typos this is a workshop
chat soon ,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

Zigs,

a couple of typos:

Re evaluating = revaluating (I think)
Possibilty's = Possibilities

This one runs with a fast flow and leaves you breathless. Again, I bow to your non-grammar, which allows lines to run into others with such ease.

All in all, fast, imagery-packed piece of magic!

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

hey there ,I am taking your second correction cheers
not a gram of grammar lol, that said every word becomes
even more important ,, cheers hood ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

Zigs,

'Probabilitys in the last stanza should be:

probabilities.

regards,

HS

--------------
Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

big red face ,oops ,,cheers

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

hey cheers for the kind words
I can only but try lol, that line
was one of those that came from
seemingly no where ,,,,,,,,,cheers ,,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

I do like the almost ambiguous feel of this until you bring yourself into it toward the end, the touch of abstract emotions and image in this is strong. I would prefer no 'ing' word ending and I would use 'surrender' but it's a personal thing. This is great freeform.

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

the ending as it is was the focus for this write
I like most have my own style of writing, I am glad you
like this one, I do strive to be a little different lol cheers ,,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

All your striving has labored to produce. And what a production it is! Keep on being you.

love, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

hey there cat I hope your feeling better I had no idea till I just read from the comments
LOL yes " all my striving " got there in the end with thanks to the above comments
chat soon sis ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,ziggy x

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment
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