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one tanka (japanese poetry workshop)

television shows
sometimes coincide with life
this seems trite, I know
but often happens in times
when my life is full of strife

Last few words: 
oops, accidentally rhymed, couldn't resist it
Editing stage: 

Comments

you rhymed my lord - wonderful! As for TV, coinciding with life, well, I wouldn't know! Been TV free for 5 or 6 years!!! Nice one Jess!!!

Namaste,

LG

_________________________________________
"Death" is nonsense: what is there to die?
"Life"? How could " life" "die"? That is a contradiction
in terms. Can "light" become "darkness"?
"Light" can only cease to be apparent

Wei Wu Wei

always good to hear from you.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

A rhyming Tanka, you be damned careful, as there are card people that have scouts out looking for pretty rhyming words lol.
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I have powerful beings watching my back for card people.
What are card people?

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

"Hallmark" are those nasty people that play with the tiny verses..
You have to watch out for them they are found under the keys of your computer, taunting you to rhyme, so they can steal your words,
Sending them out in bland cards to make money on the Pagan seasons they so love, as the Christians have made them Holy.
So take care have a great day, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

everyone is welcome to critique workshop poems, that's why they appear on the stream, and in this case I merely bask in the praise.

The only time it can be a slight problem is when people critique not knowing the workshop context it is written in. For example I have several times instructed participants to ignore other poetic values while just getting say their meter or rhyme correct.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

do you mean 'is full of strife' jess?

great tanka
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

ta
well spotted

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

i like it and see no issues to critique

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

i like it and see no issues to critique

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

this is all me personally so, the only change i would make, would be in the tone, replacing televisions shows with "new technology" lol
great tanka i wouldnt change a thing seriously.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

this is all me personally so, the only change i would make, would be in the tone, replacing televisions shows with "new technology" lol
great tanka i wouldnt change a thing seriously.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

I I see see that that you you have have a a problem problem with with doubles doubles,
You You could could go go to to specsavers specsavers, Yours, Yours,
Sparrow Sparrow xx

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

dont know wht it doubling i only hit once

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

I really enjoyed this. It describes "a causal link between acausal events" or coincidence, whichever you choose. Good Tanka.

Ron

Blue Demon77

Blue Demon77

"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."

The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath

a fan of Jung myself. Bizarre things happened during the getting and reading of his book Synchronicity.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

And here I thought rhyme was forbidden in Japanese forms. Just shows what I know lol. And yes it seems at time that life imitates art just as art imitates life (if one considers TV art lol) Thanks for posting.........stan

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