Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Not Dead Yet

Somewhere in this growing pain
Grows life,
Skin of anguish thin across
Junctures caught between
Lust and joy
In simple pleasure
And heartbeats shared
With panting breath
And growing heat

Somewhere in this madness
Lives calm,
Pooling deep inside
The constant craze of unstopped living
In moments drawn
Out into stillness
By knowing look
And secret smile

Somewhere in this chaos is infinity
Eternal
As stars tear themselves apart
In frantic bursts of final light
To sear the soul with ecstasy
And crease the mind
With fractures of delight

Somewhere, far along this slow ride down,
Dark voyage stops
In moments spent with you
Eternities of wonder
Traveled in your reaching touch
Through gasping breath,
Thoughts filled with bliss
And endless thrust

Somewhere, in the swirl
Of approaching vortex
Time ceases
drowned within the shudder
Of your shaking pleasure
And I find myself
Still alive in your wide eyes
Dark soft skin lifting up
In desire and acceptance
Pure pleasure beneath me
Breath caught
not by my closing death
But filling climax
and beautiful release

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Of love and Of coition

Glad you liked it.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

Incredible poetry !

joe

Thanks Joe!

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

you do make it hard on a gal, lol. I read and reread your poem several times. each time, I chose a new favorite set of lines each time, the poem is so deeply profound (I'm beginning to hate that word, profound, I wish I could think of a replacement word) I've finally settled on a favorite verse:
Somewhere, in the swirl
Of approaching vortex
Time ceases
drowned within the shudder
Of your shaking pleasure
And I find myself
Still alive in your wide eyes
Dark soft skin lifting up
In desire and acceptance
Pure pleasure beneath me
Breath caught
not by my closing death
But filling climax
and beautiful release
ah, I have just such darkly sweet memories as this!

Hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

You found someone that understood the pleasure all women are entitled to.
For me, she is still sharing her life with me, keeping me alive with the power of her love.
Love. I almost never use this word in poetry. But it is the most profound of all words that we have.
I am glad that you enjoyed this, my friend.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

I have found that the "word" (Love) has become a cliche. and almost always cheapens the works, so I rarely use it.

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

That's it, exactly.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.