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NIGHTMARES

In a sea of torment, what
hides behind screams back
at you from the other side.

Sleep deprived eyes within
shrunken cavernous hollows,
A deep dread bleeds through
bloodshot focus, blurring reality's
segmented mortality's.

From the hidden depths of your
immortal soul thoughts collide
and swirl, an unthinkable hellish
glare can hardly bear ridged body
nightmare stare.

The never before seen has a place
within every human being, believing
what's not fragrant pungent odours
leaving a bitter after taste.

The expansive minds inflates as it
lies in wait dictates shapes an
altered state, myself this
unconscious enemy.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

hey hi there, ' where does it come from '
I guess ill never know lol, yes I'd love cat to
read this one for sure I'M delighted you
like it cheers ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

Very dark and tormented!
Very atmospheric! A Tolkein-esque world of darkness and unseen monsters within ones soul.
I liked this one a lot!

As a very small aside I have a few minor suggestions you may want to consider:
....Sleep depraved (sleep deprived?)
....blurring reality's segmented mortality's.(do you want to consider removing the last apostrophe?)
....thought's collide (thoughts collide)
....can hardly bare ridged body (can hardly bear, rigid body?)

Good work.

Psyve

I must thank you for taking the time to show me
what needed changing, I should of seen them
IT'S fixed now I hope lol , thank you again I'm
glad you read and liked it ,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

well hello there hope you have being well, I prefer the darker writes
lol as if folk did not know at this stage lol
" to be in a place to lift your friends when they are about to fall is a beautiful place to be "
I really like that line , cheers ian chat soon ,,,zigs ,,,,,,,,glad you like this

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

I LOVED IT !!!!!!!!

LOU XX

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

glad you read this one
cheers for the thumbs up ,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs x

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

hi, so you like a scare at bedtime lol
glad you like this, this was just 8 lines
long when i posted it ages ago when I
first came here , I only kept the first verse
the rest is a rewrite cheers ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

Zigs,

you never fail to impress. This is brilliant and full of dark images and torment.

Psyve has picked out the minor spellings that need clearing up.

Love this:

In a sea of torment, what
hides behind screams back
at you from the other side.

Great poem my friend,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

I think I sent this to you a few weeks ago I nearly lost this one since
I would of only that I sent it to you and found it in my sent messages,
so cheers for that mate , nice one
glad I found it lol cheers hood I knew you'd like the
theme,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

Chrys was right, I do love it and strongly relate to this piece! Like you, I prefer the darker writes, myself. This one gave me chills as I read it. My sleep is often plagued with nightmares, but at least it gives me something to write about. My favorites are:

The never before seen has a place
within every human being, believing
what's not fragrant pungent odours
leaving a bitter after taste.

The expansive minds inflates as it
lies in wait dictates shapes an
altered state, myself this
unconscious enemy.

love, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

cheers cat i am delighted you got to read this
i am sorry you get nightmares but , as you said it's something
to write about , I never do I just dream silly stuff lol , hope you well
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs x

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

hey there thank you for choosing to read this one
believe it or not I never get nightmares but this is
how I would reckon they are lol, yes I knew about
cheese as its dreaming effects but I love a toasted
cheese sandwich lol, have a good weekend and ty
for reading my words ,,,,,,,,zigs x

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment
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