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Modern Day Merlin

I did not have a choice this time,
Mind splintering ,
Body melting down in crush of failing heart,
My greying skin a mass of swollen lesions
Brought by lessened blood leaking from my arteries and veins,
My soul wrenching, tearing away from failing flesh.

The stern helplessness of my cardiologist,
The look upon my children’s mother’s face,
My Sweet Earth Mother
Knowing everything was lost,
So I said 'Yes',

And dropped into a hospital bed
To let my failing body rest
While the goddess of technology
Reached in through surgeon’s hands
To place an implant in my heart.

Left Ventricle Assist Device
Transforming me with science
From walking corpse
To soaring wings of new beginning,
Once again to spit in eye of death,
To duck and cheat the scythe
With life renewed
By gods of technology and medicine.

Freed once more from coming death
I am a cyborg now,
My heartbeat hidden in whiring rush of bypassed blood
Taken from my heart,
Injected into aorta
By titanium electric pump
Linked to controller and lithium ion batteries
By a driveline cable squirming from my abdomen,
All tucked into the zippered pockets
Of a bright green fishermen’s vest.

People ask if I am a fisherman now,
And I have to smile.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I am back, after another long illness of the heart once more alleviated by technology and medicine...and people in a certain Chicago Medical Center who are literally THE best in the world, and really do care. Can't believe its been a year and then some, since I did this. Damn, I need to start writing poetry again.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Your poem is excellent (Or at least I Think it is but you know I'm not much at free verse) The laying of one's life at the feet of tech gods is a great way of stating your intent. I hope your recovery is going well and that you will be able to drop by more often.....stan

They really are my gods and godesses.
Its so good to be back, alive enough to enjoy the tap of keyboard, the transformation of thoughts and feelings into words, and the enjoyment of old friends.
I think this time I'll try and stay, and not be sick again.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

in reading your poem, I was startled and stunned. But I couldn't stop reading, Jim! I felt scared for you....and I am still trembling! I hope that now you are better, your good health will remain to be with you. I was just thinking, yesterday, of you and where you might be. I'm so glad that you are back with us again. excellent and potent poem!

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I was scared myself...but the LVAD is a true godsend, and I am healthier than I ever thought I would be again.
I intend to stay this time!

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

I really like it, like the medical stuff when i can find it. So many folks do not write about that domain.

Take your rehab to the nines.

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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Yep, technology is most definitely my godess!
I almost always write of things that have happened to me, and this one is no different.
Thank you for your enjoyment.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

I'm glad to see you back and writing, I love the cyborg part! I'm a big fan of sci-fi and I wish that I had the money and worth to get some new lungs and live another 20 years or so. Hey, who knows, maybe I'll hit the lottery and...
In the meantime, welcome back, this is as good a piece as I've seen from you. You hit all the notes. You introduced us to your dilemma, the resulting battle and now the celebration! Can't ask for better than that! Stick with the good batteries and keep on ticking! Nice job, ~ Geez.
.

Challenges Titles have to be written like this:
Example: My Mother or whatever title, then you go to the dropdown and enter it into the Challenges # ?
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as I told Stan, I now feel good enough to return to writing. Congestive heart failure takes everything away by slow interminable steps, so it was a godsend when they put the LVAD in me. Cyborg City! I'm doing all the things I used to...except swimming, and taking a bath (showers only). Electronics don't like water!

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

this one deserves a title .Maybe something like "Modern Day Merlin"?

Lets try it, and see what others think.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

Modern Day Merlin. ~ Geez.
.

Challenges Titles have to be written like this:
Example: My Mother or whatever title, then you go to the dropdown and enter it into the Challenges # ?
Otherwise, you will not be eligible for a certificate!

I split it up into stanzas, and changed a couple of lines that were choppy and stuttery. I think it flows better now.
I really have to start writing again. I've been too sick, but lately my fingers have started itching for a keyboard again.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment
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