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Mental Transportation

Submitted by brittle light on Sun, 2013-11-10 06:55

poetry

designed
sublime
pretty, sometimes

yet, simply a vehicle
a word driven craft

certified and licensed
for transporting
minds

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Ian.T

Mon, 2013-11-11 18:41

Ian.T's picture
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A statement, but not seen in this way for a while.
Using poetry to send the mind to other regions,
This is quite a good base for a theme.
Would love a fight of a troubled being,
working toward that freedom of mind.
The bones are there now for the flesh,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

brittle light

Tue, 2013-11-12 09:01

brittle light's picture

sometimes a simple statement is all I got! If I get more I'll give more.
I've always enjoyed a well written aphorism or epigram.
though not exactly poetry, they are still crafted

sometimes keeping it clear,concise, and with singular purpose is more rewarding to the reader, in the long run,rather than a fully dressed and developed version,

of course, I'm never really sure ... so, some are hits, others are a miss!

thanks for the visit Ian,

Al

author comment

Seren

Tue, 2013-11-12 07:14

Seren's picture

I really liked this short and sweet I love the message, poetry can make the world disappear ;)

love JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

brittle light

Tue, 2013-11-12 09:06

brittle light's picture

short is fine by me...as long as it retains the intended sweetness...sweet implying that it works!

thanks again for your support

Al

author comment
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