Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.


Locks on bridges
Happiness flows
But how many rust
By next year

God knows

Love locks left
Keys unkeyed
A bridge too far
River dries

But not my love

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
There is nothing so forlorn as seeing a bridge festooned with rusty locks. Are they a metaphor for undying love? Hmmm.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.


The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Title: LOVE LOCKS LEFT (2 Haiku)

The poem consists of two haiku, a traditional Japanese poetic form that typically contains three lines with a syllable pattern of 5-7-5. However, the poem does not strictly adhere to this structure. In order to provide constructive feedback, the following points can be considered:

1. Haiku structure: The first haiku has a 5-5-2-3 syllable pattern, while the second has a 4-3-5-3 pattern. To maintain the traditional haiku form, consider revising the syllables to fit the 5-7-5 pattern. For example:

Locks on the bridge cling
Happiness flows, rust may come
Next year, who can know?

Love locks left behind
Keys unkeyed, a bridge too far
River dries, love stays

2. Imagery: The poem uses the image of love locks on a bridge to symbolize the enduring nature of love. This is a strong metaphor that can evoke emotions in the reader. However, the imagery could be further developed by adding more sensory details or exploring the symbolism of the locks and keys more deeply.

3. Punctuation and capitalization: The poem's punctuation and capitalization are inconsistent. For example, the first line of the second haiku ends with a period, while the other lines do not. To create a more polished appearance, consider using consistent punctuation and capitalization throughout the poem.

4. Line breaks: The line breaks in the poem do not always contribute to the poem's meaning or flow. For example, the phrase "But how many rust / By next year" could be restructured to create a more natural pause or emphasize a particular word or idea. Consider revising the line breaks to enhance the poem's rhythm and readability.

Overall, the poem presents an interesting exploration of love and its endurance through the metaphor of love locks on a bridge. By refining the haiku structure, imagery, punctuation, and line breaks, the poem can be strengthened and its impact on the reader enhanced.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to

Thanks NeoPoet. I think that your attempt at cleaning up my act is quite creditable. The trouble is that if I were to revise my poem along your suggested lines it would no longer be my genuine work so I would rather downgrade this to a simple poem being two stanzas of 17 syllables each than claim they are two Haiku. You have prompted me to think again about this poem and I might try to extend it by further 17 syllable stanzas.

author comment

Wonderful metaphor which I will probably think of now, whenever I see a bridge. Very nice! The final line is defined and certain. A strong declaration of love. Enjoyed this and will return to read again.

Back again. The more I read this, the more thought-provoking it becomes. The visual is wonderful, and feels a bit forlorn, which I believe is its goal. Not certain if it needs to be considered a haiku - as a brief minimalist poem, it is lovely.

Hi Lavender - yes I "demoted" it to a non haiku status (took "haiku" out of the title) - the 17 syllable discipline is enough for me- it really concentrates the mind.

author comment
(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.