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KEYBOARD HELL

Grammarly, grammarly –
they've all got it grammarly
If they punctuate me
I’ll punctuate them

up the bracket

The etcetera
is my raison d'etre
but letters are better

Apostrophes?
They bother me
What do they do?
They don’t dash or slash
they’re not equal to a hash
they just hang there
in mid-air like eyes
that stop and stare.

Dots on eyes
are like teas
without crosses
dots after eyes –
then capital-ize
but dots before eyes
now there's a surprise
hospice next.
Stop

colon - OK
semi colon? – see your doctor
breve - OK
semi breve? - go to doctor
full stop?
funeral director

X marks the spot
Where they buried the hash

temp signs get hotter
the nearer the equator
icelandic temps?
colder than Ottawa
but they’re still someone’s dottir

i before e
gives me some piece
what a relief!
e before i
makes me an heir
but i before e
except after c
really confuses me,
supposedly

C gulls the unwary at
Ampersand-by-the-sea
zeroing in for number twos
on unsuspecting queues
while commas hatch and flutter by
and E gulls soar into the sky

The jays drop their aitches
the aitches are not wise
the ewes are plural
but what is/are a sheep
and do bees zees
when dashing here and there
they never seem to.
Stop.

asterisks
are like stars to me
and exclamations
mark my words
but quotations leave me little room
for originality

My plus fours
suit my golf down to a tee
but when the gee-gees
fall on their ars
and the percentages
drop to zero
I’m all sixes and sevens
and not an effing hero

Page up
Page down
Shift
Enter
Insert
Delete

-.. --- - ... / .- -. -.. / -.. .- ... .... . ... / -- .- -.-- / -... .-. . .- -.- / -- -.-- / -... --- -. . ... / -... ..- - / .-- --- .-. -.. ... / .-- .. .-.. .-.. / -. . ...- . .-. / .... ..- .-. - / -- . .-.-.-

End

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
I think I've had too much hash
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Keyboard Lyrics" is a playful and clever exploration of the quirks and rules of grammar and punctuation, as well as some computer keyboard shortcuts. The author's use of wordplay and puns adds a lighthearted tone to the poem, making it an enjoyable read.

However, the poem could benefit from some tightening up of the language, as some of the lines feel a bit convoluted and could be simplified. For example, the line "temp signs get hotter the nearer the equator" could be shortened to "temps rise near the equator."

One suggested line edit would be to change the line "And the percentages / Drop to zero" to "And when percentages / Drop to zero." This would make the line flow better with the previous line and provide a clearer connection between the two.

Overall, "Keyboard Lyrics" is an amusing and creative poem that showcases the author's wit and wordplay. With some minor tweaks to the language, it could be even stronger.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

This poem titled "Grammarly, grammarly" presents a playful and somewhat chaotic exploration of grammar and punctuation. The poet uses wordplay, puns, and juxtaposition to create a lighthearted and witty commentary on language.
The repetition of "Grammarly, grammarly" in the opening lines emphasizes the importance of grammar and highlights the brand name associated with grammar checking. The phrase "they've all got it grammarly" suggests that everyone needs and uses proper grammar.
The poet expresses a desire for reciprocity in punctuation: "If they punctuate me, I'll punctuate them." This line hints at the idea of using punctuation as a way to respond or communicate with others.
The poem then delves into specific punctuation marks and their associations. The phrase "up the bracket" implies a sense of confusion or disarray. The poet presents the dot on the letter "i" as being similar to a tea without crosses, emphasizing the importance of punctuation. The concept of capitalizing letters after dots and the surprise of dots before eyes adds a touch of whimsy to the poem.
The poet uses wordplay and humor in the lines about different punctuation marks. The mention of a colon being okay and a semicolon requiring a doctor adds a humorous twist. The reference to a funeral director in relation to a full stop adds a touch of morbidity.
The poem also touches on linguistic patterns and exceptions. The mention of "i before e" providing relief and confusion surrounding "i before e except after c" showcases the complexities and exceptions within English spelling rules.
The lines about temperatures and Icelandic names add a geographical and cultural reference, while the discussion of gulls and queues employs wordplay and puns.
The poet's reflections on punctuation marks like asterisks and exclamation marks convey a sense of their significance in conveying meaning and adding emphasis. The limitations of quotations for originality are also briefly touched upon.
The closing lines of the poem introduce unrelated phrases, possibly representing the poet's stream of consciousness or a sense of randomness.
Overall, "Grammarly, grammarly" presents a playful and clever exploration of grammar, punctuation, and language, employing wordplay, humor, and unexpected connections to engage the reader.

author comment

all the wordplay. ~ Geezer.
.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Words can be as hard as diamonds or as malleable as putty - and there are so many of them to play with. Do you know a book called EUNOIA by Christian Bok? Worth a look. Eunoia is the shortest English word that contains all the vowels. It means "beautiful thinking". Imagine writing a chapter of a book using words containing only one vowel that makes sense. He has.

author comment

it up. Thanks for the heads up! ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Hello, E2u,
How clever! You have put a lot of thought into this. (Too much hash?) "If they punctuate me, I'll punctuate therm." "Ampersand-by-the-sea..." (The visual here is excellent!) Play on words all over the place, yet in a wonderful concise and organized manner. Really like this!
L

I am sure you are familiar with The Four Quartets by T S Eliot. This is extracted from "Little Gidding" - brings a tear to my eye every time I read it.

What we call the beginning is often the end
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
The end is where we start from. And every phrase
And sentence that is right (where every word is at home,
Taking its place to support the others,
The word neither diffident nor ostentatious,
An easy commerce of the old and new,
The common word exact without vulgarity,
The formal word precise but not pedantic,
The complete consort dancing together)
Every phrase and every sentence is an end and a beginning,
Every poem an epitaph.

author comment

"...And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time."

Thank you for citing this beautiful work.
L

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