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Friend, my friend

Friend, my friend,
How can you be a friend of mine
When such as I,
So ugly, brutish and a man,
Want to love you all I can,
Kiss your body for my own good,
Take possession of your womanhood.

Yet in that selfish act supreme
When senses capture mind and Will
Surely you would feel as I –
Compelled; enjoyed; wanted; enslaved;
For moment’s halted on love’s plateau,
Time stopped,
Living out some crazy life
In fractured seconds bursting out,
Flowers blooming in your eyes,
Their whole life’s beauty
And their scent compact,
Just being flowers,
Whilst you react.

And in that birth of a million suns
When we cease living on this earth,
Surrendered, sundered,
Vapoured through the universe,
Surely this is God’s design?
Blasted out at journey’s end,
Eternal children in Heaven’s land,
And still you would remain my friend.

So why are you so prim and coy
When all I ask and wish to do
Is love you gentle,

……And in joy.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
You are sitting on a crowded subway train. Suddenly you are conscious of a beautiful girl sitting opposite. You have fallen in love again and it’s only Monday morning. She is doing her make-up, eyes narrowly focussed on her compact mirror. Eyelashes lashed, eyeliner applied, she snaps the compact shut and looks up straight at you and smiles. You flush. The moment passes. I wrote her a poem but will I give it to her when next we take the A train? You guess.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


it tells a good story, and it's believable. I was slightly disappointed that the good rhyming was discontinued after the first stanza, but the piece still works. Nice. ~ Geezer.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

it gets free of the rhyme but soon gets back into line.

author comment

So, it's only Monday?! How has the rest of the week been, so far? :) Very revealing gathering of words - heartfelt and romantic.

.......late for work. She hadn't even put her contact lenses in. I marveled at her skill on that rickety train - she put them in and then did her make up.
This has reminded me of Aretha's great version of "say a little prayer" so I listened to it on YouTube. - brought a tear to my eye.

author comment

Sweet thought!

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