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Kuiper
I think I'd rather
have unrequited love
than to float about
like this,
hanging on
to whatever lordship or prize
life, or the gods
decided to throw my way.
I'm great, really.
Great at the solemn art of not being hurt
or breaking down.
I'm great at brushing it all off.
I'm great.
Really.
Got tons to say,
Have a moment to stick around and hear?
I wish I was even angry;
I'd show you that delightful rage you begged me for,
but I was raised a gentleman
by a woman who reminds me a lot of you,
and whose words meant just as much.
In the end, what is it all
but philosophy and assorted random bullshit,
this thing called love?
What is it when we overpay,
and who have we to blame
but ourselves?
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
scribbler
Fri, 2015-08-21 20:25
Hi
In a time wham so much free verse is just chopped up prose this shows what free verse can and should be.........stan
Geezer
Fri, 2015-08-21 23:59
It is great...
Really. My dictionary is buried and I don't feel like digging it out right now, so I will pass o the title question. I did feel that it all hung together pretty well, but felt a bit of tweaking could improve the first stanza. [Whatever lordship or prize, life or the gods decided to throw my way]. Mostly all good. ~ Gee
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