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iguanadon and proselytes

Submitted by emeka ozurumba on Sat, 2016-01-23 06:53

Armour plating buccaneers of lonelines
Archaeopteryx in a banished island
Percipient of the fleets mumble

Troglodyte deciduous with their flying wing
Grounds also for their surplus decay
That sunflowers subside the penducle

Stones in the meaning of loneliness
Baked camels of the rivers throng
Capsules digests up as death floats placebo

The silhouetted moon grates on the curtain cape
A signet ring to sexless polaris neuwters
Pewter with the groaning combustion monolith

A vehicle of steams gruel nightcap skirtles
That is deprecatory flickers vacation
The monotonous oceans drive vletching nocturne

Folks at the grave garnered festoon
Broken staff, reminiscent vibrated, barricades divining
The cradle of scattered winds abseiled

Nine pines bites the poison of the nightshade
When the moon beam cascade in marsala hues
Orbital orchestras in hollow mutability

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Geezer

Sun, 2016-01-24 13:35

Geezer's picture
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big words you used, may have significance to your thoughts at the time of writing this one,
I found that the musical sounds produced intrigued me more than the content of the poem. You left off a couple of esses and dees, but no matter, the effect was very good. ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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Esker

Tue, 2016-01-26 19:20

Esker's picture

I was like...this guy knows the words...but yes..I agree you use them more
for the lyrical sense they portray in value in poem then just the impact
of its importance in knowing what they are
..
I remember reading John Milton..the 1600 hundred writer of poetry
I made myself read this big book I bought at the library sale table..
I read Joseph conrad..grade thirteen level high brow...they gave me
books to read because they knew at least I could read the stuff
even if I did not have the mind or tech to write about it then...
my empathic good intelligent tops...they were the brightest people
in the school and they liked me because I could at least grasp it
and like its content unlike the rest of the herd just being the goofy
gossip smearer bullies no brainers with daddy mommies money!
a lot were like this.....but thats society...I wasnt society...I was and
always will and have been....ME...a value I hold dear too
and they for allowing me the influence of great minds!

if U have not noticed or have...I have taken to writing like U because
it is unique...its hard to do and its a lot of fun..
we had magnets on the intellectual hipster house where a lot of
now very bright and well connected powerful young...okay now we
are in our fifties...but then..we used magnet words to construct
poems in short orders..
phonetic like telegram
like tags sprayed
like the short word burst game
the very bright do...

appreciate your work...
love Gee's bang on comments

thank U

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