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I Rebut

I can't take any more of this
left handed
slogan speak.

Incessant
flabby blabber;
hum-drumming echos
of mob configured
convention
and label mongering.

Dissension has become iniquity,
post-modern heresy,

and those deemed guilty,
summarily sentenced;
to be smitten by
shrieking beat downs,
scarlet pillories,
and shaming ostracism.

And megaphones don't make one sound more clever.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Most of us feel the same, yet nothing is being done.
rhetoric is the norm for politicians
nothing to do, but vent.

Eddie C.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

I've been meaning to say about your tag, Eddie. The past is not 'just' a lesson, learning makes us human, the future is not yet written yet our ability to predict it to some degree, the consequences of our actions, is also part of being human, "living in the now" is as much hippy mystical bullshit as I think I say myself on my profile "I am forever unwrapping the eternal present". It does say something about appreciating the beauty and wonder of life and this world.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

having our own perspective on life is what truly makes us human. I live "my" life according to this credo and it works for me. I think what ever slicks your hair back is how you should live. You have your opinion, but it doesn't change mine. seeing things through my eyes is what counts for me. right or wrong.
Eddie C.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

go for it!

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

yes, this is a comment on the current political environment, but more specifically, on the protest rallies, and could be about either end of the ideological spectrum, I suppose. (in this case, the regressive left). I am quite apolitical by nature and don't identify with any party, or their candidates, but I do enjoy the "circus" aspects of this "greatest show on Earth" ....Thrilling, Dramatic, and Spellbinding!

thanks for your thoughts,

Al

author comment

even though, from the second line, I suspect we are on opposite sides!
It is hard to define the prosodic qualities in such freeform verse but they are definitely there. It has flow and elegant use of language.

Strange how we accuse each other of the same things. One of my best friends online is Rett, a Trustee here. He's a right libertarian, GOP, we disagree on almost everything, but with compassion and humour. He says the same things about liberals/lefties as I say about conservatives/fascists, though of course I say it better [grins].

I think it is in your vowel use this reads so well. No suggestions. Don't let anyone tell you it is just a rant.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

I think I'm more of a contrarian than an ideologue...and am willing to oppose anyone that seems irrational, simply emotive, illogical, or plain wrong in their arguments, no matter their political/philosophic affiliation.

Being non-committal could be seen as a flaw by some, but someone's got to fill that slot...nature abhors a vacuum, and by my own nature, got sucked in!

thanks for the complimentary critique,

with respect,

Al

author comment

Good to see another point of view. As to structure, more of a statement with line breaks than a poem. Always worth reading aloud to sense the flow, check for errors (echoes) - some interesting images though, don't think I've seen "pilloried" used on this forum yet!

Cheers.

Chris.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

thanks for your thoughts.
I think a lot of my works seem un-poemy due to a lack of the feelies, sentimentality,
or any raw emotionalism.
So, what shall I call this, or the rest of them..."statoems" I don't mind.
I like words, and images, and twisty phrases jammed together, whatever it may be called,

thanks for the spelling correction and suggestions

respectfully,

Al

author comment
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