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Fairy Tale Slayer (As Told By Black Riding Hood)

Prince Charming is a gigolo
how many stories was he in?
Cinderella caught him
trying to wake Sleeping Beauty.
His defense: she's in a coma
c'mon, Cindy,
is that really such a sin?

She took her glass slipper
shoved it up his ass.
Told him where to put his millions
perhaps you think she's crass.

Snow White was a whore
living with seven old men.
Her legs opened and closed
like a revolving door.
Gods only know
where she's been.

Her step-mother was jealous
in desperate need to get laid.
Gave Snow White the poison apple
who should come to her aid?

Good ol' Prince Charming
with his affliction for the nearly dead
Man, this guy gets around
never satisfied with what he had.

Alice fell down
the hole after taking a bad hit.
Paranoid rabbits and caterpillars that smoke
Really, honey, you need
to get off that shit.

Love affair with a mad hatter
an invisible cat
all in a magical place called Wonderland
imagine that.

And then there's me
Black Riding Hood
who choked the life
from her do-gooding sister, Red.

No one likes an ass kisser
even my grandmother
doesn't miss her.
In fact, we're glad
she's dead.

Fairy tale fantasy
unrealistic dreams.
Call it what it is.
The world is a horrible mess
and princesses, they don't exist.

.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

There was only one line I found amusing.

" Good ol' Prince Charming
with his affliction for the nearly dead"

The rest of the poem was pretty crass. I felt you had a point to make, only you made it poorly.

I've read Grimm. It's not near what you describe. You probably wanted to have a go at those who recast Grimm in the Disney-esque caricature, but not Grimm.

And Alice is not from Grimm, it's Lewis Carroll. The fairytale world is not as your poem paints it. At all.

And princesses do exist.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

To their opinion. i made the correction as far as my reference to Grimm. i believe you are correct that i had his tales mistaken for the Disney remakes. I did have a point to make and I am not sorry that I did it that way. The only princesses that exist are those in England and other countries and those are not the princesses I am referring to. The real life princesses are educated, well bred women for the most part who have alot to offer. The ones I am speaking of are purely fictional characters who I am sure are incapable of being offended by my work. They give a false sense of reality and what relationships are really like. I am not the first author to twist a fairy tale or two. I am familiar with Alice in Wonderland. I have read the book many times. It is one of my favorites. It always amazes me how certain authors are called "genius" and praised for such works or some works of that kind, no one ever chastized Stephen King for being too twisted, yet when I try my hand, I offend....

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

author comment

" , no one ever chastized
Stephen King for being too twisted, yet when I
try my hand, I offend...."

You offend, not because you are too twisted, but because you don't do it well enough. Like I said, this was not elegant. It was crass.

Steph King does it better.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

was never one of my strong suits. I state it like it is. I'm not here to blow sunshine for anyone. I have seen many angry poems on here, with language worse than mine. I have been told that I hold back, to let it all come out...come to think of it, I dont think you ever read anything else I wrote. The purpose of this poem was to address my neverending frustration at certain people's perceptions of perfection. No one mentioned in the poem has the capability of being offended or feel like they have been slandered but if they were real people, by society (in this day and age) standards, they would be seen just as that.

In regards to Stephen King, he has years of writing under his belt. I would not expect to ever be compared to a writer with such high stature as himself. No kidding, he does it better. I have dabbled in writing as a teenager and have recently begun to develop different skills as an adult. Every writer has their own style, its not for us to say if it is right or wrong. If it isn't your bag, than leave it alone....

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

author comment

I'll have you know that I read 'Origami' when it was published.

It was elegant. Not like this.

As one who dabbles a lot in Fairy tales, it's easy to see why I am offended. Had you at least written it well, I wouldn't mind.

" Elegance was never one of my strong suits"

From what I've read from you, that statement is not true.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

by my standards. I have experimented with many different styles in the last month or so, based on what message I wish to convey and which mood I am in. I grew up one of those misguided little girls who believed her Prince Charming would come and all would be right with the world. I bought into the Fairy Tale life and until the last year and a half, held on to some hope that it really did exist. But once again, reality crept up and slapped me in the face, reminding me that it is exactly what I stated, a fantasy. The above mentioned characters are fictitious individuals, created to provide amusement and entertain our wishes for a perfect life. Once again, we all have our styles and they vary from day to day. Maybe my choice of words in Origami were elegant because they weren't so harsh. I was conveying the sadness of feeling trapped by our own choices in our own life. A very different message and set of emotions than what I was feeling here.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

author comment

Fair enough.

I didn't see the personal story coming. That means the "Prince Charming" has a deeper significance than I thought.

You bought into the mass market fairy tale. I don't think you're really into the genre, but you'll find it is more true to life than it is.

For your realisation, I am sorry, but yeah, that's life. And you can be harsh and elegant (as well as poetic)

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

a fairy tale writer but I read a good number of them growing up. I understand "that's life" but it gets old after a while. Prince Charming has a far more deeper significance than most people would interpret. The quest for finding his perfect princess, neverending, while leaving a trail of broken hearts behind..or just breaking one heart with broken promises....

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

author comment

it wasnt so much then the physical identiy of perfection
but a notion
an ideal

they were mere bedtime stories

King I thrived on in latter

and the Grim stories of history are much
more simplistic and articulate then a lot
of fiction...

actually read the Grim stories. This was my take on the fictional worlds people paint for themselves, that is imbetted into them as children. It seems everyone is out to find their "prince" or "princess" and are horribly disappointed when those dreams don't come true, they are dismayed by the reality that there is no perfect person and life isn't always sunshine and roses, in some cases, they throw away a really good person trying to find that perfect one. Those of us who are left in the throw away pile become bitter and look for reasons why they are unloveable. I am not sorry my poem came out the way it did. I didn't realize the fairy tale kingdom would be so outraged. Stephen King is one of my favorites. His stories have all types of twists and turns....

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

author comment

Your twist on those old fairy stories that the children loved have over the years been interpreted in many ways, some not very well.
Your write is yours and I thgink we should comment on the layout and not the story.
Of course your way is not going to last a few hundred years, they will not be read at night time to the children, who cares a shit you have written them as you wanted, good on you.
Reference to Stephen King where did that come from he writes totally different things and his stories are usually for the older person so there is no way a comparison can be made.
I wrote a new look at the crooked man this is how it came out in modern terms not many commented on it as usual:-

Hey man found this twisted dude
He told me how he staggered a mile
I just curled up and had to laugh
Then he cracked me up telling me

He found this shiny bent coin
Left on a twisted sort of style
I thought take a break man
Rest awhile this is just to much

Then listen, this is where it runs away
He went to the Cat pound with the coin
All they would let him have for that
Was a broken cat with a twisted smile

It just gets better so hold on there
He told me it caught a mouse
This mouse he said so crooked it coiled
Here's where he really cracked me up

He told me that they are living together
In a house that was so twisted
Its chimney touched the ground
I told the dude to go home and sober up

You see this may have been very bad of me,
these things have been around near as long as writing lol.
Just take the crit and carry on writing, though I would love to see some of your everyday poetry, conform to the norm lol,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

on fairy tales on Facebook, making the point that by society's standards, in this day and age, that is how they could be interpreted. Prince Charming has a significant meaning to me on a personal level, as I explained to William. I am thinking its better for me to archive this in my own personal computer and take it off of here. I didn't realize people had such sensitivity toward the fairy tale kingdom. My reference to Stephen King came because he was written some twisted, gruesome things and been dubbed a genius. I make a twisted interpretation of a few childhood stories and its devestating. I have learned in life what's good for the goose isnt always good for the gander...I have never been one to conform to the "norm" it just isn't in my blood. I push the envelope and I guess that's what makes me a misfit and what probably causes me to fail at most relationships. I know when I am beat...

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

author comment

There's a section on the add poem page that let's you add some final thoughts. You should use it to give us proper context of the poem.

Without it, you'll most likely be misinterpreted always. Go ahead and add something to let later readers properly understand your poem.

It helps a lot.

.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

Every so often I unpublish any of my pieces that are not being helped.
Don't forget they only stay there 90 days then I am not sure how to retrieve them I always keep mine in several places..
I send a few to Triond they pay 1 cent for each read, and I find it amusing
to have money for poetry I love to make.
Meanwhile you carry on writing, will look for Nevermore in the days that come, Yours Ian.T. He He

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

My fiance thought this was a good write..he found humor between the lines...so I guess it is a matter of opinion...from now on I will b sure to clarify my poems

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

author comment

When I first started writing here I made a mistake of not doing the research I should have done before I posted, I got blasted by two woman who I still call friends, I redeemed myself by tearing the whole thing apart the poem was about Hitler and probably one of the hardest stories I've ever had to write, the process did two things it made me realize what I put out in word somehow has an impact somewhere, even if sometimes the reader doesn't understand doesn't mean the poem isn't relevant either I have written more shit poems than I have good ones, the second thing I learnt was to read it out loud and see how it sounds cause if it has no rhythm or cadence its going to sound choppy

I am not going to blow smoke up your ass and tell you I loved this poem, Ask Gee I am not a fan of gory poems but I have come to know killer I peek through my fingers LOL I would like to see some work on this and maybe change a few minds

I will keep and eye on your updates :)

hugs and love JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

As you know, I am not one to blow sunshine up anyone's ass. This was purely my take on the Disney-esque fairy tale world and my own personal bitterness. I created my own wretched character, however, she is more of a Ninja than Serial Killer. I got better responses from my serial killer poems featuring my alter ego Nevermore. Those were gory! Like I said, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I am not one to conform to the norm, I simply can't. It isn't in my blood. I push boundaries, call it like it is, I learned that nice girls finish last...I can't compromise myself to make others happy anymore...I made the correction and eliminated Grimm from the equation all together. My point was Fairy Tales are what they are, they are not real people you can actually offend, perhaps that is why I used them as examples instead of using real names of real people I had in mind.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

author comment

God the impact this poem would have if you used the real names it would change the whole outlook I would seriously give it some thought, I know your a good poet and you produce quantity, remember I used to post everyday lol I was prolific now days I am slower and cant run with the pack like I used to I am six years away from 50 and I came late to the poetry party, my life would have been so much easier if I had poetry earlier on

I will continue to read you and Gee and see where you two end up I will brave the blood and gore lol

big hugs JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

If you have slowed down at that age there is still a chance for me and my zimmer frame that I now have wheels fitted LOL
Or failing that I shall put a motor in my three wheeled bike, now come on give us a chance????
Take care out there and watch out for a beard flowing in the breeze kicked up from a speeding Geez,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I am a very different person than I was in my twenties, and thirties I was always going a million miles an hour I never had time for me, I just don't have the energy I used to have before I got sick ... smile I can run, well sorta LOL he he

time for bed its nearly 1am

hugs and love JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

I didnt want to use real names because I deal with these people on a regular basis, as well as I really don't buy into the whole fairy tale/princess thing anymore. Like I explained in other comments, I used to be one of those little girls who dreamed of prince charming, the fancy wedding etc. I am tired of hearing that's life, shit happens, blah blah. I just cant conform to what everyone wants me to be and I guess I feel that way with my writing as well. I cant be this wonderful ray of sunshine everyone wants me to be and I cant write like that. I don't always write blood and gore. I have many others that are very different....

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

author comment

I've read a few of the comments - I think your poem does what you say it does it lays it on the line. I think you are a realist. The rhyming structure is random - which "I think" fits well with the fairy tale chaos. I like the honesty - it smashes through the layers of untruth, even though it's hard to swallow - Do I like it? I do for it's honesty even though it made me cringe. It is distastful - but life can be distastful, unjust and painful. You are just conveying some of lifes harsh realities. ( you certainly got a strong reaction ).

LOve Mand xxxx

I.shattered the fairy tale world...I didnt realize the characters were considered real and I am sure I will be sued for defamation and slander before long. Being called a bad writer and being asked to conform was a bit harsh hence my break from Neo. There are those who can write whatever and receive high praise...a little something off the cuff and im a bad writer. Thanks for the read

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

author comment

I don't think you're a bad writer - I think you are willing to put down in writing exactly how you feel - you are an honest writer. This particular poem may not be to everyones taste, but I'm sure there will be those who can relate to it and would cheer you on for having the courage to post. Human beings are complicated creatures, if you are happy with it, that's all that matters. By the way I liked the way you reasoned things through with adverse comments. I hope things go well with you in the future.

Love Mand xxxxx

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