Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Enmity
I do not know why,
but I have come to accept and wear
the anger and the pain and the hatred
like a scratchy old blanket.
I didn't want to be like this,
I didn't want it to be like this.
I wanted to be listened to
and understood.
But nobody has time for that,
right?
Certainly not the church and her Holy Rollers,
we walked in expecting nothing
are were certainly not disappointed.
All I get are Dennis' emails about keeping quiet,
and all I see is a sideshow.
My heart breaks,
my heart aches,
and my heart angers
over the spectacle I see.
And wherever this all comes from
I pray daily it goes away.
I pray that the peaceful, gentle me
was not an illusion.
I'm asked incredulously on the phone
why I can't just move on
by a woman who stole
nearly half my life from me.
I have never felt this much enmity
so far into my core.
I fear that it has changed me,
polluted me somehow.
And I can't say I'll ever be the same.
And I can't tell if I can ever be me again.
People talked so proudly and so loudly
about consequences
with smug looks and sometimes gentle voices,
as if they knew a thing,
a single thing at all.
I remember the day they told me
and I just wanted to die.
I wished I could just drink and forget,
forget how to breathe for just long enough.
The things I threw
the rage I bore
the dishes broken
and the screams.
"where's the grace for me?!"
I yelled at no one,
at the wall.
I just want to be able to cry,
to find some therapy,
some comfort
and not just go
with the wind
with the anger I feel inside.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
wip
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
jane210660
Thu, 2016-07-28 06:04
Strong stuff
Wow, very emotive, I could certainly feel your pain.
I hope just the act of writing (very well :-) ) helps you see a perspective (albeit one you don't want to have to see) and provides you with some sense of sanctuary.
Jxx
------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.
Esker
Thu, 2016-07-28 07:55
ha....I pushed promoted....drew fire for the lassies
I was the Laddie stone in the river
the log forgotten behind
stranded with my forehead on one
bank and my toes on the other
an intereesting predicament
why Wasnt I the one
allowing others to let me walk
on their backs
taking this and that along the
way sleeping soundly
...oh wait..I did that part too
I did lose a lot..but I got a beautiful
daughter whom I communicate
with rare...and a step whom I am
in a moment of non communication
and in a spot where I take no ones
shit of late and snarl...
jackals wanna take a run at me
then I will run at them..
if they know whats behind the
facade...the fence....
why ask for it..
but here U go!
they back off
naturall order
everyone wants too
be told what too
do..
power and control
we can do it
without violence
that edge
has always been
there for a reason
not for destruction
but re construction
even at an elderly
age as myself...
because there is a
time for tea
and a time too hop
on the horse
and lead an army
of One...or two
or many!
trumpeter!!
mount up!
Thank U
Mr Esker!!
Geezer
Thu, 2016-07-28 19:42
All things considered...
your title is good, the logic flows well and everything fits together nicely. I'm not going to try to tell you how to cope, but will say this: Eventually the rage wears out. You just can't sustain it forever. You will move on. Thanks for the excellent write. ~ Geezer.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.