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Come And Get Me

I like the slow quiet of a foggy night
and the wailing of a distant train
or the putt-a-putt of a single engine plane
loping across the sky

sounds that propel me into a fantaisie noir
not unlike an hypnotic chicken clucker at a cheap carny show

a gritty, tough, iron jawed
double-breasted shoulder holstered
man on the run

"you'll never take me alive" I snarl

the sound of my voice
snaps me back to my ordinary messes
...but, at least I'm still breathing

and wondering

could one actually die
in one's own fantasy/dream
gone too far

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

I like this very much. It is a departure from your 'entertainment poems.
Kudos, my friend.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

but his strikes me as self-indulgent no real content

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

Which critique shall I respond to?

Al

author comment

Paradox, the abuitiy to reconcile paradox is a sign of genius.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

I am having trouble reconciling both critiques , but I don't have to. The second one , self indulgent and lacking real content, is the truth. The first is irrelevent, even if sincere.

life goes on. (sure would be cool to be a genius, though)

Al

author comment

Sure I say sometimes dumb and silly and and even get offensive. I detest willful ignorance and religion.. Yet I have spent my life exercising my brain, reading everything I can put my hands on and though frequently wrong, I have a huge body of knowledge and some acquired wisdom. For what's its worth I have an IQ of 180 plus.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

and often stupid.

Let's just say I think this has many levels. But I could be wrong!

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

"Nothing human is foreign to me" (a quote , I can't remember from whom...a british writer, I think)
Wait, I just googled it . I misquoted. It's a good paraphasing though
from a play by Terence, ancient Rome

with respect,

Al

author comment

A paradox that has so many explanations, this was in two sections one where you were bathing in the reality of listening to the night or what ever, then you become a man on the run, bent on not being caught, all tangled up in a dream.
The changes could be parts of three stories but as a dream we will accept them as being a dream going wrong..
(Eat less Cheese it makes you dream bad)
Take care, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

this is just an uninspired rip off of "Walter Mitty", a chronic daydreamer (a short story by James Thurber)
I agree that I need to be clearer in delineating his reality from the fantasy bits.

thanks for the suggestions

Al

author comment

or hormonal dissertation

all wind moanin distractions
vivid and surreal

Twins...one evil and one evil
One good and one good

Albino and One Dark
salt and peppa

push it baby....

like that you write at the edge
like skipping stones across
the sea

what lays beneath
true delving true diving
refinery of power

mesh reality with fantasy

Our worlds we had shamans
and the crazy prophets on street
corner or delving dumpsters
asking us to pull strings on the
tapestry of rigid conduit structure
in social rigor mortis

It was Einstien who said the element
of interesting was a radical genre

De Bono said the answer may not
just be A or B but sometimes C

a concept of fluid dynamic thought
of social mobility
to think around an issue
a fulcrum
a blockagge
not just blow through it in a straight
line

I loved "Walter Mitty" a kind of spoof
on writing and trying to get published
a Scoffery that i loved

how imagination is dangerous

I like Aldous Huxleys works too
and Phillip K Dick

and Mickey Spillane

watched the graffic art moves
300 about spartacus
and Sin City

visited the gritty
and the kinder gentler cities

I like this poem as your other
works...you hit truer to home
on grit and nerve then most

true gamblers know they can
lose everything
so they just make their moves

there is no other thrill quite
like it!!!

Thank You!

clashing ideas
one day to next
moment to moment

what now...now what!
write it down
laugh later
or cry
another line
written
more to be writ
for forever, but then gone

no reason to stop
doing one's being

a poet

thanks for your inspiring thoughts

Al

author comment

and the white satin falls
never reaching the end of winter...
Im dazzled by the chaotic theory at times
but enjoying it...And soon we shall
have a new comet in our northern skies
after dusk!!! The Hopis predicted the
two brothers returning..I wonder if this
is what they were talking about!!!

Thanks Al..

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