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Can I Take a Moment of Your Time?
Can I take a moment of your time
and just hurt for a minute?
Can I slow down
can I just
stop?
I don't want to be guilty
and if I am guilty,
then I want to be guilty
on my own time.
Can I take a moment of your time
to not be you
but me,
with my own ambitions and heartbreak
and live the life
I have to live
without answering to anyone
but who I was born to be?
Can I get to know you
and at once get to know myself
or are those two things,
those multifaceted things
mutually exclusive?
Can I take a moment?
Can I just stop and stare
at what nobody seems to get,
this very thing that I still haven't fully
wrapped my head around
can I
take a moment of your time?
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Geezer
Thu, 2016-01-07 22:06
Very intriquing...
I'm impressed! I was waiting through the whole poem for you to explain that taking a moment of the other person's time made it your own, but upon reflection, noticed that you didn't have to! I knew it all the while. Nice work! I liked everything about it. The title was apt, the story hung together well and the whole thing was appealing. ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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lovedly
Wed, 2016-02-24 15:19
your poetry is lenghty
and
comments you need to answer yet
are plenty