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Call It What You Will (Page 3)
cornfield billows
tossing tresses nonchalant
a silky wind
...
shiney umbellas
drip slicked-back rainbow puddles
in shades, neon
...
spare room memories
clusters of junk, love-nesting
immemorial
...
a bird extends wings
flight happens, naturally
I must try, flap flop
...
insight distilled
from vats to vial potent
pocket poems
...
frog in a pond
so what! I'd rather be in
Philadelphia
...
from stale darkness,
a wellspring of bubbling light
fresh dreams are drawn
...
Editing stage:
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Comments
BlueDemon77
Sun, 2012-07-08 20:27
Interesting Write Brittle
Hi, I'm Ron (Blue Demon77)
I am impressed with this poem. I love writing in haiku for the same reason I love all form: precision. I thought at first that you were going for strict haiku all the way but some syllabic changes at the bottom changed it from the requisite 5-7-5 sometimes using up to 10 syllables, other times using 4. I enjoyed the work very much. It still has the Japanese ability to take a snapshot figuratively and let it burn in the mind. Much of your haiku segments do that. I say righteous effort, I enjoyed it greatly. Thanks for a pleasurable write.
Ron
Blue Demon77
Blue Demon77
"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."
The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath
brittle light
Wed, 2012-07-11 00:16
Hello, Ron
Hello, Ron
virtually glad to meet you.
thanks for the critique and comments.
always appreciated, though I do not always reciprocate.
I find correspondance extremly difficult
harder than poetry!
a personality flaw? or bad manners
call it what you will
I'll try harder to be a better Neopoetician (I always say this, but never seem to get better at it)
in the meantime
keep prolific!
thanks again
Al
Ian.T
Wed, 2012-07-11 03:36
Al
A great gathering of short verse that say so much in so few words, maybe you could have a visit with Barbara on her Renga epic.
I am sure that you precise words would be so welcome,
Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
brittle light
Wed, 2012-07-18 00:59
thanks again for your time
thanks again for your time and uplifing comments
please pardon my late replies
Al