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Breathing Wildfires

Submitted by Seren on Fri, 2023-01-27 11:01

the velvet knife
of your tongue
cut my skin

into a thousand
streamers of want
I feathered against
the unknown

a breath in the grasp
of insanity

I pooled
as ribbons on
the ground,
I was tossed to roll
aimless to reality

fire licked breasts
as thighs brushed static
into the palms of your
hands …

at first touch
is the flashback,

I burn up, a white flame

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Not sure about this one.
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Candlewitch

Fri, 2023-01-27 11:13

Candlewitch's picture
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such beautiful language usage...it feels diaphanous in the mind. and makes me feel the need to cry until I am dry, like "control" is no longer necessary... I bet you also know what "feather touching" is like, at your fingertips rooted in your belly! I loved the title, too!

*love, Sis

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Seren

Fri, 2023-01-27 11:41

Seren's picture

That's exactly what I was going for. The light feather touching that turns into a wildfire.

So glad you liked it I wasn't quite sure about this one. But then I never am about most of my poems.

Love Always Sis xoxox

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

Lavender

Fri, 2023-01-27 19:06

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Hello, Jayne,
"I pooled as ribbons on the ground." Such feeling in those words - a willing melting of the heart.
Thank you!
L

Seren

Sat, 2023-02-04 09:26

Seren's picture

It's not easy to motion into words but that's exactly what I try to do, and I am so glad you liked those lines.

thanks again for the read its always appreciated!

Hugs Jayne

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

Geezer

Sat, 2023-01-28 08:37

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I feel the heat here. Nice job of steaming up the windshield! ~ Geez.
.
P.S. Inspiration from this one!
.

This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place

Seren

Sat, 2023-02-04 09:28

Seren's picture

lol I think i may have already read what this inspired, wink wink, i think the greatest gift we can give each other as poets writers whatever we are, is the gift of inspiration.

so happy that you liked it

love and higgliest bugs Sis xox

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

scribbler

Sat, 2023-01-28 10:36

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after a cold shower lol. You might try ribbons instead of streams. For some reason it just seems better fit to me

Seren

Sat, 2023-02-04 09:30

Seren's picture

I have already used the word ribbons in this one and i was trying not to be repetitive, I will give that some thought and see what else i maybe able to come up with, hope it was a nice HOT shower lol!!!

love and hugs Sis

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

Seren

Sat, 2023-02-04 09:32

Seren's picture

hahaha I am happy you liked it, I will be round reading some poetry tonight or today sometime its 2.33am here ATM, I will see if I get tired or not. It's been a huge week.

hugs Jayne

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

lovedly

Sun, 2023-01-29 02:01

lovedly's picture

I know the very touch of fingers ...sliding down a spine ....
women --simply crash like butterflies in a golden mine ...
once entwined .....

Gorgeous words selection
Sis

Seren

Sat, 2023-02-04 09:33

Seren's picture

Very happy you liked it my friend, hugs.

love & hugs Sis

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

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