Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

The Best Fourth Of July (July Pleasures)

It came to be when I was 9 years old.
We all went to the common on the fourth.
My sister gave me a piggy back ride
Because it was too far for me to walk.

The city had a huge carnival there.
My father was a police officer.
He got free passes to the rides we loved.
(Ferris Wheel, Bobby Horses, Octopus).

Of course a trip to the great carnival
Meant cotton candy and candy apples
Soft and sweet and the other crisp and tart
Got more on our faces than in our mouths.

Fireworks, they were the greatest that year.
I loved the finale it was the best.
All colors lighting up the summer sky
Loudest explosions heard all at once, Wow!.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 


like written through the eyes of a 9 year old.
The poem is nice free verse. well constructed pace and scansion. Nice!

I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

Thank you for your comment that made me feel good. I have to admit I did write it from the eyes of a 9 year old. This is how it was back then. I have to admit the explosions from the fireworks scared the crap out of me but they were beautiful anyway. Thanks again


author comment

I feel very honored to receive your honorable mention. I didn't expect it but I want you to know how greatly it was appreciated. It was fun writing that one like a child playing games. The poem that won was a great poem. I congratulate him.

author comment
(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.