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Courtly Love

Embrace me with your intellect
Inseminate with your skill
Implant the sperm humanely
With wisdom let me fill
As we share intercourse
Of courtly love and such
Takes just one seed to sate me
Fruition will be much

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

metaphorically superb. I am very impressed with your poem; This is called a conceit.

Definition: A conceit is a kind of metaphor that compares two very unlike things in a surprising and clever way. Often, conceits are extended metaphors that dominate an entire passage or poem.

There is one thing you should look to,:

With wisdom let me fill
Share intercourse with me
Of courtly love and such

That with me caused a drag on the rhythm for me , how about,.

With wisdom let me fill
as we Share intercourse
Of courtly love and such

T

The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight

Thank you for your great comments. I didn't realize it was metaphorically superb that really shocked me but I love that outstanding opinion. I 'll always remember that. I will keep in mind all the comments you made though . Thank you, thank you, thank you!

B9Pat

author comment

I too, thought that this is a metaphorically-great poem. Just remember, that you have the option of using or rejecting any and all suggestions for your work. Careful consideration and use of critique is encouraged to help us become better poets. Nice work! ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Thank you Geezer for your great comments. I'm glad you liked my poem and I will carefully consider all suggestions given to me including yours.

B9Pat

author comment

good read. Nothing else to add.
Love "Implant the sperm humanely".

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

I'm glad you liked my poem. I didn't know if anyone would be able to tell what I was doing here but it seems that some have. Glad you like implant the sperm humanely. Thank you for your comment.

B9Pat

author comment
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