if my world is a reflection
of my brain/mind
what a mess I must be

shall I aquiesce
or struggle against myself

is there even enough time left
to instill meaningful, discernible change
if I choose the latter

to aquiesce means a continuation
of the status quo
a sloppy house, car,
and certain personal habits;
laziness, relative poverty, mindless routines
yes, a real mess

being older (old)
I should have a clearer perspective
on these matters
but this kind of clarity has always
eluded me

at least I have a home,
a car, and habits to mess up

I'll probably settle for the option
of remaining who I now am
and who I've always been
while hoping to learn
to appreciate
the messiness
of my self created world