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Killing God (with rev with audio)

Killing God

I worked at a drive-in theatre
years ago
before they died.
not a bad job
lots of movies.
Some tedious tasks,
I had to check every speaker in the field.
Turn up volume,
listen,
move to next post.
Turn up volume,
listen,
move to next post.
Turn up volume,
listen,
move to next post.
five
hundred
times.

That day the light was yellow, electric,
turbulent clouds roiling ominously.
I stopped,
transfixed.
Staring at the half-brick in my hand.
Where the hell did that come from?
I looked around, bemused.
Five rows back at the edge of the field
was a small pile of rubble.

I smiled gently,
perhaps a little wickedly.
Of course.
In the middle of a field of metal posts,
an electric storm brewing.
If lightning strikes,
if there is a judgemental god,
I will meet that prick
armed with a half-brick.

to hear the live reading click
https://soundcloud.com/jess-tapper/killing-god

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

I would read a full book of this particular rhetorical and artistic style/ form ( and content). Engrossing
Off the beaten path while remaining so readable (unconscious craftwork). Refreshing, and stisfying.

Al

Recruited me from the off Jess!

L

_________________________________________
"Death" is nonsense: what is there to die?
"Life"? How could " life" "die"? That is a contradiction
in terms. Can "light" become "darkness"?
"Light" can only cease to be apparent

Wei Wu Wei

I adore this.

A refreshingly honest/no bullshit piece
complete with a little sardonic
kick in the ass in those last lines.

I applaud your skill

...

if there is a judgemental god,
I will meet that prick
armed with a half-brick.

LOL!!! I love this! (and what a tedious job) You do reminisences very well.

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

Yes, I'm not above using a little shock value, sometimes even make it work
teehee

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

The idea of the brick is funny, because we know he is already dead. No power in anyones head, at lease those that see the truth of the brick. The brick might be god in some culture. I am sorry I had to go to the mindless place of the brick. Nothing to say but lots of power in someones head. bad joke I guess But i am Laughing.
This was so good, you sneaky Savanah Beach.
Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

though we can all be as thick as a brick, especially if me miss the important obituaries, and latest scientific papers.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

here's there reply:
BRICK, BRICK, BRICK. 500 times and still it can't be heard.

Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

I'll try a bazooka

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

It appears that in midst of listening for defective speakers you heard a caution from another speaker..........stan

I sent one.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

and the fucker has never smote me. I was clumsy.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

Still in my top five of your works.

In ink,
David

your appreciation is appreciated

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

I must say the title caught my attention, and I was eager to explore the hostility of the piece. I'm glad it wasn't stressed throughout the poem, and was effectively used in the last line.

Also glad I didn't see any swear words till the end of the poem. That last, rhyming couplet has an attractive edge to it.

Something about the poem speaks of suicide, which is a subject I'm quite acquainted with. The audacity of the poem is quite appealing, as is the manner in which it is written. I'm yet to come across a name of this sort of writing, but then the fact that the subject is only approached from a distance (well, sort of) and is not explicitly said in a prosaic manner pleases me.

Just to satisfy my curiosity, are you an atheist?

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

Atheist. Yes. Hostility? Well, only to judgmental, patriarchal, jealous deities and organised religions built around them.

My use of profanity, though far more frequent than most, is very considered, I use certain words without hesitation when I feel they are the right words in the right place. From puerile curiousity the other day I did a site search on the 'c' word and found 6 instances, 5 of them mine.

Suicide? One could perhaps infer an unconscious death wish, but I hope the vitality of the ending belies that.

'I'm yet to come across a name of this sort of writing', it's freeform poetry, mate. I doubt many would really argue that. I seldom use strict metric or rhyming forms, though I'm certainly capable, see 'Noisance' and 'Corporate Villanelle'

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

Hahaha!!
I love you man, talk about metaphorically speaking. I want to be the brick (prick in others eyes)

Eddie
PS I can't stop laughing...

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

''''''if there is a judgemental god,
I will meet that prick
armed with a half-brick..'''''............the other half eh!

marvelous ...

however you could only get a sliced one
b or p or d....................----
I just wonder how
lovely work urs
This one i have copied for my desk
and laptop to digest

loved

I finally listened to the audio of this poem. It is brilliant.

I have one question though, what makes this spoken word? I sounds more like a simple reading of your poem!

Good job!

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

except that I wrote down near verbatim something I described verbally to someone else.
It lacks a lot of poetic features that would make it genuine spoken word.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

Nice to hear this poem too.

By not explaining a bit better how your half brick came to suddenly be in your hand, you leave a bit of the supernatural in the poem. Just thought I'd point out the illogic of that lol. Ps just realized I forgot to applaud the imagery you used.........stan

"Where the hell did that come from?
I looked around, bemused.
Five rows back at the edge of the field
was a small pile of rubble.

I picked it up unconsciously, as defense, obviously not against lightning, but just in case. And no, I am not agnostic, I am atheist, but who can blame someone for feeling vulnerable in a an open field of metal posts during a thunderstorm. I was not just defying god, but death itself.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

is no longer active on that site, but I can still somewhat hear your voice reading this.

Christopher Hitchens would grin at this poem, indeed so would Mr. Dawkins.

In ink,
David

great to see you!
Ah, I wondered how long Vocaroo recordings would last. I will re-record using Soundcloud soon.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

I have heard this from some place that is your reading of it.
Can I ask you to read a great classic poem as an example to all that are here of the reasons for many to follow their writings.
Hope you are doing OK out there Winter is coming and the cool air will be a blessing,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

and I will be delighted to read it.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

to your kind comments,
thank you.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

I may not agree with your convictions, but I certainly cannot fault your poetic abilities! This is very readable, has powerful imagery, and pulls no punches! Nice work!

good to see you round.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment
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