Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

"Forever Plus More" *warning this poem is erotic*

To slide deep inside, to feel the warm wet.
The touch of your skin, I will never forget.

To feel your hips sway, to welt your ass.
To pound like a hammer, I want this moment to last.

To get lost in your body, to drown in your lust.
To learn every inch, and to nibble I must.

To follow your legs up, beyond your knees.
In between thighs, and under the trees.

I have trust in your mouth, and the things it can do.
Have trust in mine, and my serpent tongue too.

Gash deep with your nails, make it hurt good.
I will bite back, am I understood.

Kiss me so softly, look in my eyes.
I kneel down before you, still stuck between thighs.

Where we taste of each other, your satisfaction, my needs.
Then as we finish, your moans become screams.

As the moons falling lower, and this night was done.
We still have tomorrow, since we’ve barely begun.

We scratched at the surface, but there’s more to explore.
This is eternal, forever, plus more.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 

Comments

I'm glad you enjoyed it, lol.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"

author comment

Damn !!! I need a lie down, after that, preferabley, not alone , it's practically porn lol !!!!

The only thing that could be changed is, stanza 3, ' to learn you all over ,' it does'nt sound right

lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

Thank you lou, I hope my change is better.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"

author comment

That's a big improvement , i still need a lie down lol !!!!

lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

I hope I got them all, at least I think I did. lol

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"

author comment

I hope it stays hot always too, lol

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"

author comment

changing the word [wanting] to [ I want ]. I think it might make for a better flow. This was very well thought out, without being obscene. Very hot! ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

You are right, I don't know why I didn't see it.I walked a tightrope with this one, I tried very hard to not make it come off creepy, perverted, or obscene.thanks again Geezer

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"

author comment

the warning was loud and clear in the title...it is what you cautioned it to be...it shows your prowess with the words and obviously with what it describes....it would be interesting to read a feminine response from the one who inspired it...to make it a complete package...lol...

raj (sublime_ocean)

Do you mean a response from my girlfriend or just a poem from the female perspective?
Either way, it would be interesting but my girl is very shy and I myself don't understand the female perspective enough to even attempt it, lol.I'm glad you liked it raj, and thank you for commenting.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"

author comment

yes..i meant a female perspective....a sort of a feminine resonance of the experience you have shared ...lol...

raj (sublime_ocean)

I feel that the female perspective is a mans usual failing.we tend to not get it right even when we try.I may give it a go though.Thanks raj.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"

author comment

You will send all men and women
To buy more Viagra than condom
And
Once I write an erotica here
They’ll all kick me my dear
So I dread
Having been lead
Down the lanes
One sees loud and clear
The end's cumming
Of that now
There’s no fear

loved

What a way you have with commenting, thank you lovelyhoney:-)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"

author comment

you said commenting

Blind as i am
I read it as cumming
Wow
Hope no one is looking straight
Maybe crooked
Slant may do
Would u?

Perhaps my extemporary
Virginity of poetry
Learning stage
Still would assure you
I have no bad or evil intentions
Only pure
And
True for u

loved

you said COMMENTING

Blind as i am
I read it as cumming
Wow
Hope no one is looking straight
Maybe crooked
Slant may do
Would u?

Perhaps my extemporary
Virginity of poetry
Learning stage
Still would assure you
I have no bad or evil intentions
Only pure
And
True for u

loved

I did notice that you said "cumming", lol.I just get a little confused by the way you leave comments is all:-)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"

author comment

to humour all those
who can and those who don't
cum or come
whatever your visionary mind does suppose.
thanks for reading my poetic cum- prosaic prose
this cum here
is the natural one
not that cum >>>

loved

Thanks for the warning label in the title. Brave and curious soul that I am, I pushed on to read one of the best erotic pieces I have ever had the pleasure to read. Thank you!

Here is a poem I wrote (awhile back) that might be considered the counter point. I hope you enjoy it:

Savage Velvet

Engorge me with your malleable weapon

I need not your love, worship or salvation

I only desire to feel the incandescent heat

Of your liquescent fire

Flooding from the dam of your restraint

Saturating my hunger darkened recesses

Begging to be moistened and aroused

Seeking neither social approval

Nor a coveted trophy to polish my vanity

I want to encase the sating phallus

Of my greed and libidinous need

To wrap myself around you and consume

Your liquid silken entry from within

Leaving you weak and trembling

To caress with supple muscles

Into a Saturnalian state of encore!

These are my favorite lines of your piece:

To get lost in your body, to drown in your lust.
To learn every inch, and to nibble I must.

To follow your legs up, beyond your knees.
In between thighs, and under the trees.

I have trust in your mouth, and the things it can do.
Have trust in mine, and my serpent tongue too.

I have no suggestions, just appreciation for the work.

always, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Cat
Can I butt in?
Just to say
You are
Surely marvellous
In the depth you display,
In the canyons beyond human reach
Unless you bless the one,
Who does beseech
And
Then the fountains of joy
Flow from heaven to earth
They glow anointed in the nectar
God hath willed,
But love as lust alone,
Humans have killed,
None the less you’re serving the master,
Spells of more love
Than lust,
But any way the thrust
Was the best
As twas willed...

Regards as before

loved

Very hot write you have there yourself Cat, I very much enjoyed it and thank you for sharing.What a lucky man you have, but I'm sure he knows it;-)
I was so busy commenting on yours that I almost forgot to thank you for commenting on mine, lol.Thank you Cat, I'm glad you liked it.

PS. I also don't know how this comment is on the bottom, I hit reply on yours.Oh well, lol

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.