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"Forever Plus More" *warning this poem is erotic*
To slide deep inside, to feel the warm wet.
The touch of your skin, I will never forget.
To feel your hips sway, to welt your ass.
To pound like a hammer, I want this moment to last.
To get lost in your body, to drown in your lust.
To learn every inch, and to nibble I must.
To follow your legs up, beyond your knees.
In between thighs, and under the trees.
I have trust in your mouth, and the things it can do.
Have trust in mine, and my serpent tongue too.
Gash deep with your nails, make it hurt good.
I will bite back, am I understood.
Kiss me so softly, look in my eyes.
I kneel down before you, still stuck between thighs.
Where we taste of each other, your satisfaction, my needs.
Then as we finish, your moans become screams.
As the moons falling lower, and this night was done.
We still have tomorrow, since we’ve barely begun.
We scratched at the surface, but there’s more to explore.
This is eternal, forever, plus more.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage:
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Author information
Region & Country
Maryland
Favorite Poets
I have many favorite poets but I like Poe the most.I would also feel wrong if I didn't include music to this also, for I find it to be of great inspiration.These are lyrics to a song by Monster Magnet called Ozium, it never fails to put me in the writing mood and thought I would share it, lol., " I'm up to my brain in the mire of an ancient swamp, Pteranadon smiles at me and flies up to god, Baby let me drink deep from your globes of reality, Writhe your naked ass to the mindless groove, baby give your tongue a taste and follow me up to my room, the bullgod has your head, and baby thats just fine, now it is time, we became the mighty cell, wrap those hungry jacks? to the mindless groove, they say we've got a lifetime, but we know that ain't true, I will not be denied, I will not be denied, baby, the faster you gyrate the faster we'll be there, arms up overhead, a goddess in the ancient song, work that mighty world to the mindless groove, they say weve got a life time but we know that ain't true, I will not be denied, I will not be denied, they say weve got a lifetime, but we know that ain't true, I will not be denied I will not be denied"
Comments
KINGZOMBIE
Wed, 2011-03-02 09:43
Thank you Rosi
I'm glad you enjoyed it, lol.
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"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"
author commentlou
Wed, 2011-03-02 12:53
Erotic ?
Damn !!! I need a lie down, after that, preferabley, not alone , it's practically porn lol !!!!
The only thing that could be changed is, stanza 3, ' to learn you all over ,' it does'nt sound right
lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
KINGZOMBIE
Wed, 2011-03-02 13:16
I think I fixed it
Thank you lou, I hope my change is better.
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"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"
author commentlou
Wed, 2011-03-02 14:56
KZ
That's a big improvement , i still need a lie down lol !!!!
lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
KINGZOMBIE
Wed, 2011-03-02 13:44
Thank you Mean Bee
I hope I got them all, at least I think I did. lol
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"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"
author commentKINGZOMBIE
Wed, 2011-03-02 13:19
Thank you shirl:-)
I hope it stays hot always too, lol
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"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"
author commentGeezer
Wed, 2011-03-02 11:45
You might consider...
changing the word [wanting] to [ I want ]. I think it might make for a better flow. This was very well thought out, without being obscene. Very hot! ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
KINGZOMBIE
Wed, 2011-03-02 13:23
Thank you Geezer
You are right, I don't know why I didn't see it.I walked a tightrope with this one, I tried very hard to not make it come off creepy, perverted, or obscene.thanks again Geezer
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"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"
author commentraj
Wed, 2011-03-02 15:03
the warning was loud and
the warning was loud and clear in the title...it is what you cautioned it to be...it shows your prowess with the words and obviously with what it describes....it would be interesting to read a feminine response from the one who inspired it...to make it a complete package...lol...
raj (sublime_ocean)
KINGZOMBIE
Wed, 2011-03-02 15:49
Thank you raj
Do you mean a response from my girlfriend or just a poem from the female perspective?
Either way, it would be interesting but my girl is very shy and I myself don't understand the female perspective enough to even attempt it, lol.I'm glad you liked it raj, and thank you for commenting.
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"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"
author commentraj
Wed, 2011-03-02 22:18
Dear KZ
yes..i meant a female perspective....a sort of a feminine resonance of the experience you have shared ...lol...
raj (sublime_ocean)
KINGZOMBIE
Thu, 2011-03-03 12:23
The female perspective
I feel that the female perspective is a mans usual failing.we tend to not get it right even when we try.I may give it a go though.Thanks raj.
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"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"
author commentloved
Wed, 2011-03-02 15:04
you will send all men and women
You will send all men and women
To buy more Viagra than condom
And
Once I write an erotica here
They’ll all kick me my dear
So I dread
Having been lead
Down the lanes
One sees loud and clear
The end's cumming
Of that now
There’s no fear
loved
KINGZOMBIE
Wed, 2011-03-02 15:52
Wow
What a way you have with commenting, thank you lovelyhoney:-)
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"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"
author commentloved
Wed, 2011-03-02 16:35
thank god
you said commenting
Blind as i am
I read it as cumming
Wow
Hope no one is looking straight
Maybe crooked
Slant may do
Would u?
Perhaps my extemporary
Virginity of poetry
Learning stage
Still would assure you
I have no bad or evil intentions
Only pure
And
True for u
loved
loved
Wed, 2011-03-02 16:37
i hope it ain't a repetition
you said COMMENTING
Blind as i am
I read it as cumming
Wow
Hope no one is looking straight
Maybe crooked
Slant may do
Would u?
Perhaps my extemporary
Virginity of poetry
Learning stage
Still would assure you
I have no bad or evil intentions
Only pure
And
True for u
loved
KINGZOMBIE
Thu, 2011-03-03 14:10
I meant "commenting"
I did notice that you said "cumming", lol.I just get a little confused by the way you leave comments is all:-)
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"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"
author commentloved
Fri, 2011-03-04 12:56
it serves my purpose
to humour all those
who can and those who don't
cum or come
whatever your visionary mind does suppose.
thanks for reading my poetic cum- prosaic prose
this cum here
is the natural one
not that cum >>>
loved
Candlewitch
Fri, 2011-03-04 12:51
Dear KZ,
Thanks for the warning label in the title. Brave and curious soul that I am, I pushed on to read one of the best erotic pieces I have ever had the pleasure to read. Thank you!
Here is a poem I wrote (awhile back) that might be considered the counter point. I hope you enjoy it:
Savage Velvet
Engorge me with your malleable weapon
I need not your love, worship or salvation
I only desire to feel the incandescent heat
Of your liquescent fire
Flooding from the dam of your restraint
Saturating my hunger darkened recesses
Begging to be moistened and aroused
Seeking neither social approval
Nor a coveted trophy to polish my vanity
I want to encase the sating phallus
Of my greed and libidinous need
To wrap myself around you and consume
Your liquid silken entry from within
Leaving you weak and trembling
To caress with supple muscles
Into a Saturnalian state of encore!
These are my favorite lines of your piece:
To get lost in your body, to drown in your lust.
To learn every inch, and to nibble I must.
To follow your legs up, beyond your knees.
In between thighs, and under the trees.
I have trust in your mouth, and the things it can do.
Have trust in mine, and my serpent tongue too.
I have no suggestions, just appreciation for the work.
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
loved
Fri, 2011-03-04 13:07
Cat
Cat
Can I butt in?
Just to say
You are
Surely marvellous
In the depth you display,
In the canyons beyond human reach
Unless you bless the one,
Who does beseech
And
Then the fountains of joy
Flow from heaven to earth
They glow anointed in the nectar
God hath willed,
But love as lust alone,
Humans have killed,
None the less you’re serving the master,
Spells of more love
Than lust,
But any way the thrust
Was the best
As twas willed...
Regards as before
loved
KINGZOMBIE
Fri, 2011-03-04 14:05
Wow !!!!
Very hot write you have there yourself Cat, I very much enjoyed it and thank you for sharing.What a lucky man you have, but I'm sure he knows it;-)
I was so busy commenting on yours that I almost forgot to thank you for commenting on mine, lol.Thank you Cat, I'm glad you liked it.
PS. I also don't know how this comment is on the bottom, I hit reply on yours.Oh well, lol
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"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"
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