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Onward Zionist Soldiers! (Part One)
I
Onward, Zionist soldiers,
marching as to war,
With the star of David
going on before!
US, their wealthy Master,
has sent you lots of dough;
Whizzing through the night sky,
watch your missiles go!
Refrain:
Onward, Zionist soldiers,
marching as to war,
With the star of David
mopping up the gore.
II
At the sound of battle
Zion’s host doth flee;
On then, Hizbullah heroes,
on to Vic-tor-ree.
UN’s resolutions quiver
at the shouts of joy;
Nations, lift your voices,
and peace forces employ.
Refrain:
Poor old Zionist soldiers,
not so very brave,
With the star of David
dangling o'er their grave.
III
Like a mighty army
moves Hizbullah’s throng;
Brothers, they are cheering
- let's sing a joyful song;
They are not divided,
or scared of Israel,
They might one day send
the Hebrews straight to Hell..
Refrain:
Retreating Zionist soldiers
with their hopes all bust,
With the star of David
bloodied in the dust.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
This poem was inspired by the latest outrages by the Israelites against the Palestinian peoples: Israel's armed forces have recently murdered two Palestinian leaders and have rained rockets down once again on the Palestinian public. What is the USA's response to these killings? Obviously it's to declare the illegal Isarelite settlements on Palestinian land perfectly legal. It makes you sick, doesn't it?
For the less knowledgeable, this satire is a parody of the 19th century Protestant hymn, "Onward Christian Soldiers", music by Sir Arthur Sullivan, original lyrics by someone rather militant and evangelical in outlook (a hideous combo).
Editing stage:
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Region & Country
London, Culture Capital of the World
Favorite Poets
Siegfried Sassoon, Wilfred Owen, Rupert Brooke, Chaucer, Shakespeare to name but a few. And VERY IMPORTANTLY: Erich Fried, a leftwing Austrian of Jewish ancestry who fled the Nazis and became a British citizen in 1949., And, other writers (non-poets mainly): Raymond Chandler, Irvine Welsh, Anthony Burgess, Graham Greene, Charles Bukowski, John le Carré, Anthony Horowitz, Mick Herron, Margaret Attwood, Edna O'Brian, Maeve Binchy., Writers who I find vastly over-rated: TS Eliot, Virgina Woolf, Sylvia Plath, Phil Larkin, E.A. Poe, A. Ginsburg, Longfellow, Gerald Manley Hopkins (actually I LOATHE Hopkins more than damson-dappled words can say).
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Comments
Eumolpus
Wed, 2019-11-20 23:53
a poor rant
look not all Israelis are Zionists, not all Muslims are fanatics, not all of you British who's empire ruled the world with slavery (ie India and all the rest) are sadists, not all the Germans were Nazi's.
This parody is a cheap shot. I know you're pissed. we're all pissed. We're pissed at what's happening in NIgeria. In Syria. In China for god's shake 100 million Muslims are being murdered,
what's happening in Venezuela, Yemen, tribe against tribe, sect against sect. So don't blame the Jews again. they are no better or worse than you or your people, whomever you think you are a part of. Everyplace has shit- history is the present as well as the past. No one is without guilt. But your obvious and odious anti-antisemitism goes nowhere. Don't support Hezbollah, don't support Zionism, don't support Bir Hakeim, don't support Duterte, Trump, Putin, and all the rest. Hate the USA, Austria, South Africa. But cast your fucking hate of Jews aside. Be a universal hater. Hate everyone the same...or
Get a life.
Get on the peace train. The world is changing, getting more connected. You're either part of the past, or be part of the future.
Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings
Edna Sweetlove
Thu, 2019-11-21 10:00
A poor comment.
1. This not a "rant".
2. I have not suggested that ALL Israelis are Zionists; since 20% of Israeli citizens are Arabs, this is obviously not the case.
3. I don't recall having mentioned Muslims or the British Empire in the poem, so fail to see the relevance of your mentioning them.
4. Ditto Nazis (note that your apostrophe is grammatically wrong, as is the apostrophe in "who's" (your line 2).
5. A cheap shot? I don't follow that. How is mocking the Israeli Army's cowardly attacks on civilians and their assassination of political leaders they don't like "a cheap shot"?
6. 100 million Muslims are "being murdered in China"? You must be following a peculiar false news trail if you believe anything so silly.
7. I have not "blamed the Jews again" for anything. I have criticised the Israeli Zionists. As you point out, not all Israeli citizens are Zionists. Equally, not all Jews are either Israelis or Zionists.
8. You accuse me of antisemitism. This is a plainly rubbishy, offensive and silly accusation. Nowhere does my poem comment adversely on Jewish people. You appear to be one of those people who foolishly and wrongly interpret criticism of the Israeli state as being antisemitic. Is pointing out the nastiness of Trump in any way "anti-American"? NO! Is disliking Hitler "anti-German"? NO! Is commenting negatively on General Franco "anti-Spanish"? NO! Is condemning extremist Islamic terrorism "anti-Arab" or "anti-Muslim" NO! Is commenting as you have just done "not all of you British who's empire ruled the world with slavery (ie India and all the rest) are sadists" anti-British? Well, maybe that is actually the case - and may I note that the mention of slavery comes oddly from an American, whose nation was economically based on slavery for nearly a century.
9. I agree with your stated wish for peace in the world. I find that conflicts with your peculiar suggestion (I quote) " Be a universal hater. Hate everyone the same."
I must sadly conclude that you don't appear to know what you are talking about. But thanks for your comment, it gave me a good laugh.
xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars
author commentEumolpus
Thu, 2019-11-21 17:36
fake news
when you say: Hizbullah should
... one day send
the Hebrews straight to Hell..
Hebrews are jews. that's anti-semetic. Kill the jews is anti-semetic.
My typo- china has 1 million Muslims in concentration camps.
British empire was brutal vs Hindus actually. I don't think the peaceful Belgians were too polite in the Congo either... etc. I was reminding you to take a tour of history- there are few if any examples of societies not engaged in murder. Do we really want Hezbollah, with their antique philosophies of women, gays, and any infidels to run the world either. They are monsters too.My point was obvious, to not judge the Zionists for their barbarity alone. Hisbullah has stated with commitment to rid the world of jews, finish the job the nazi's began.
Hate everyone the same, or be an equal opportunity hater- was sarcastic. Sorry it was over your head.
Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings
Edna Sweetlove
Sun, 2020-01-05 12:00
Twisty, twisty
I note that you have totally ignored all the points I made.
Why am I not surprised?
PS - I chose the word "Hebrew" as less offensive than the alternatives. I shall amend it to Zionists. Thank you for the suggestion.
PPS - Sarcasm? Over my head? That'll be the day, dear.
PPPS - Try and learn how to spell "antisemitic" before accusing people of being it. Duh!
xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars
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