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SunKu 13 Workshop
Springtime
I hear tones
of nature speak
grass blades
earth's insects
animal life
awoke
from their
winter slumber
Editing stage:
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Comments
raj
Sat, 2018-02-24 04:44
I liked this and created for
I liked this and created for me the sounds of Spring. Since you hear sounds from multiple sources simultaneously, please see if "buzz" would be a good replacement to read as
Springtime
I hear buzz
of nature speak
make change only if you find it suitable
hugs...
raj (sublime_ocean)
Barbara Writes
Sat, 2018-02-24 06:11
Sounds good
Too me
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
lonlyhrtsclub13
Sat, 2018-02-24 10:45
Simple
Yet beautiful. Especially since I have spring fever right now. Been a long dream winter. I am ready for spring sounds and sighs. Well written
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"
IRiz
Sun, 2018-02-25 00:06
Nice poem!
Nice poem!
Buzz is a summer thing to me,
It alliterates with earth and blades.
Tones enhances the word awoke.
IRiz
Barbara Writes
Sun, 2018-02-25 10:31
Thanks IRiz
Glad to have your perspective
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
raj
Sun, 2018-02-25 04:46
Hi Barbara
Please ignore my suggestion and revert to the one from our learned friend. In retrospect I now feel foolish for making suggestions...
raj (sublime_ocean)
Barbara Writes
Sun, 2018-02-25 10:33
Hi raj
I appreciate your suggestion. I have a sunku just for you my friend. Be on the lookout. It’ll have the word buzz in it. Smiles
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
weirdelf
Mon, 2018-02-26 23:09
Lovely!
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1UUadgMBfIN
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Barbara Writes
Tue, 2018-02-27 13:16
Thanks
Glad you like it
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community