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SunKu 13 Workshop

Springtime
I hear tones
of nature speak

grass blades
earth's insects
animal life

awoke
from their
winter slumber

Editing stage: 

Comments

I liked this and created for me the sounds of Spring. Since you hear sounds from multiple sources simultaneously, please see if "buzz" would be a good replacement to read as

Springtime
I hear buzz
of nature speak

make change only if you find it suitable

hugs...

raj (sublime_ocean)

Too me

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment

Yet beautiful. Especially since I have spring fever right now. Been a long dream winter. I am ready for spring sounds and sighs. Well written

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Nice poem!
Buzz is a summer thing to me,
It alliterates with earth and blades.

Tones enhances the word awoke.

IRiz

Glad to have your perspective

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment

Please ignore my suggestion and revert to the one from our learned friend. In retrospect I now feel foolish for making suggestions...

raj (sublime_ocean)

I appreciate your suggestion. I have a sunku just for you my friend. Be on the lookout. It’ll have the word buzz in it. Smiles

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

Glad you like it

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment
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