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SunKu 13 Workshop

Springtime
I hear tones
of nature speak

grass blades
earth's insects
animal life

awoke
from their
winter slumber

Editing stage: 

Comments

I liked this and created for me the sounds of Spring. Since you hear sounds from multiple sources simultaneously, please see if "buzz" would be a good replacement to read as

Springtime
I hear buzz
of nature speak

make change only if you find it suitable

hugs...

raj (sublime_ocean)

Too me

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop*
Amqerican Version of Japanese Poetry
~American Renga~
Free Verse, Western, Modern, etc
~ Renga ~
Haiku, Senyru, Tanka, Renga
All Neopoets are welcome to join the Collaborative Poetry Writing fun.

author comment

Yet beautiful. Especially since I have spring fever right now. Been a long dream winter. I am ready for spring sounds and sighs. Well written

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Nice poem!
Buzz is a summer thing to me,
It alliterates with earth and blades.

Tones enhances the word awoke.

IRiz

Glad to have your perspective

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop*
Amqerican Version of Japanese Poetry
~American Renga~
Free Verse, Western, Modern, etc
~ Renga ~
Haiku, Senyru, Tanka, Renga
All Neopoets are welcome to join the Collaborative Poetry Writing fun.

author comment

Please ignore my suggestion and revert to the one from our learned friend. In retrospect I now feel foolish for making suggestions...

raj (sublime_ocean)

I appreciate your suggestion. I have a sunku just for you my friend. Be on the lookout. It’ll have the word buzz in it. Smiles

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop*
Amqerican Version of Japanese Poetry
~American Renga~
Free Verse, Western, Modern, etc
~ Renga ~
Haiku, Senyru, Tanka, Renga
All Neopoets are welcome to join the Collaborative Poetry Writing fun.

author comment

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

Glad you like it

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop*
Amqerican Version of Japanese Poetry
~American Renga~
Free Verse, Western, Modern, etc
~ Renga ~
Haiku, Senyru, Tanka, Renga
All Neopoets are welcome to join the Collaborative Poetry Writing fun.

author comment
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