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SunKu 13 Workshop

Springtime
I hear tones
of nature speak

grass blades
earth's insects
animal life

awoke
from their
winter slumber

Editing stage: 

Comments

I liked this and created for me the sounds of Spring. Since you hear sounds from multiple sources simultaneously, please see if "buzz" would be a good replacement to read as

Springtime
I hear buzz
of nature speak

make change only if you find it suitable

hugs...

raj (sublime_ocean)

Too me

*The Collaboration Poetry Workshop
Eternal Renga
Amqerican Version of Japanese Poetry
All Neopoet members are welcome to join in the round robin fun.
Collaboration Poetry Workshop

author comment

Yet beautiful. Especially since I have spring fever right now. Been a long dream winter. I am ready for spring sounds and sighs. Well written

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Nice poem!
Buzz is a summer thing to me,
It alliterates with earth and blades.

Tones enhances the word awoke.

IRiz

Glad to have your perspective

*The Collaboration Poetry Workshop
Eternal Renga
Amqerican Version of Japanese Poetry
All Neopoet members are welcome to join in the round robin fun.
Collaboration Poetry Workshop

author comment

Please ignore my suggestion and revert to the one from our learned friend. In retrospect I now feel foolish for making suggestions...

raj (sublime_ocean)

I appreciate your suggestion. I have a sunku just for you my friend. Be on the lookout. It’ll have the word buzz in it. Smiles

*The Collaboration Poetry Workshop
Eternal Renga
Amqerican Version of Japanese Poetry
All Neopoet members are welcome to join in the round robin fun.
Collaboration Poetry Workshop

author comment

cheers,
Jess
Everything changes bar one. Neopoet's 'Prime Directive'-
"Critique don't comment".
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

Glad you like it

*The Collaboration Poetry Workshop
Eternal Renga
Amqerican Version of Japanese Poetry
All Neopoet members are welcome to join in the round robin fun.
Collaboration Poetry Workshop

author comment
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