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A Star Paraded And Tarry
Jupiter is big and bright tonight;
Shineth close to earth in the sky;
Twinkled and dipped like a fairy;
A star paraded and tarry;
It's not an aircraft;
Traveling on its path;
I imagined it's my sister passed on;
Or a spacecraft from beyond.
What I do know is a storm is nearing;
On the weather app, I'm hearing.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Thu, 2021-07-29 07:01
Hi Barb...
Nice to see you post for a change.
I don't think you need a space in tonight, probably just a typo?
Unless there is a hidden meaning?
A star paraded and [tarry] not sure what you mean here.
I can see where one looking up to see the stars
might be thinking of the weather, and so see where
what at first seems like a disjointed thought about a storm
becomes clearer.
~ Geez.
.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place
Barbara Writes
Thu, 2021-07-29 12:43
thanks for the read
yes (to night) is a typo. I changed it but spell check thought better lol. and tarry intention to show the umping star tarried or stayed in place.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
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author commentGeezer
Thu, 2021-07-29 14:53
Ok...
I get it now. ~ Geez.
.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place
Barbara Writes
Sun, 2021-08-01 21:53
thanks for visiting
glad you enjoyed it
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
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author commentTriskelion
Thu, 2021-07-29 12:31
I think
"Terry" is the name of Barbara's sister. "tarry" might be a typo? Yes, the comparison goes well beyond the common ideas of what many people will see if they see Jupiter in the sky...It is quite beautiful when you unravel the layers in this piece....I think about my eldest sister when I read it....at least that's my take.
Beautiful work!
Thomas
.
.
...so like my lost dreams...the flood
Barbara Writes
Mon, 2021-08-02 11:02
thanks Thomas
Tarry carries the thought of a star bouncing around in space. My sister's name is Rosa and she died of covid last year. She died 41 days after my mother, who also died of covid 5 months after her husband, who died of COPD and Cancer. When I write I tend to put my sister somewhere in my writings.
PS. Spellcheck is notorious for changing my correctly spelled words.
Why is spellcheck changing the tone of my thoughts? It is beyond me. I need to get like you and remove it and use free Grammarly only. Grammarly works well for now.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
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author commentTriskelion
Thu, 2021-07-29 13:56
I see
I guess the "Terry" in the title threw me off as is the word "coven". I disabled auto correct on all my devices. hm...looks like my entire comment is out the window. Apologies
Thomas
.
.
...so like my lost dreams...the flood
Barbara Writes
Thu, 2021-07-29 23:51
Hey
Not a problem
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author commentBarbara Writes
Sun, 2021-08-01 21:56
thanks again
I didn't realize Terry was in the title
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
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author commentTriskelion
Mon, 2021-08-02 07:29
Spelling
..is one of my nit-picky things and it tends to turn my interest away if done incorrectly. Of course, today, there are many people using the english language who are fairly new at it (and "notto" correct doesn't help) so patience is required. Some people have other health issues..etc...etc..etc.
The word you used (coven) in one of your replies usually refers to a gathering of witches in the english language. I hope you didn't lose your family members to that. Perhaps you meant "covid"?
Anyway, I wish you good health
Thomas
.
.
...so like my lost dreams...the flood
Barbara Writes
Mon, 2021-08-02 10:49
thanks so much
I couldn't figure where coven was in my poem. lol
I am making the correction. it is covid
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
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