Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

The Well of Life

THE WELL OF LIFE
by Ian Thomson
My Life, as far as I can tell,
Is like a stone dropped down a well.
It falls free, with uncaring speed,
Yet seems to hold all that I need.

But I know that quite soon the noise;
Those echoes of my woes and joys,
Will disappear like winter geese
As I, with weary splash, find peace.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Workshop: 

Comments

Tam this is a cracker, sad but very good indeed. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

As always, Roscoe, my warmest appreciation of your encouragement

Ian

TIME FLIES LIKE AN ARROW, BUT FRUIT FLIES LIKE A BANANA

author comment

I especially like the winter geese line (might even steal it at some point lol). All the rhymes seem perfect to my uneducated ear..........stan

Thanks Stan , I appreciate your input

Ian

TIME FLIES LIKE AN ARROW, BUT FRUIT FLIES LIKE A BANANA

author comment

Who cares about the rhyming exercise. This is a bloody eulogy or something. Like a Western haiku. I will have to keep this one. wesley
Oh yes, the rhymes were sound. You pass.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

but i just have a slight problem with the rhythm in
'It falls free, with uncaring speed'
lol might sound better with your irish accent :)

of course, as you know the rhymes are perfect
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

One more time, please. Clarify? What is wrong with "speed/need" as a rhyming pair? wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

that this is at least the third time you have misread me wesley
what is going on?

is it pick on judy week or something and you've forgotten to tell me??

i mention nothing about rhyme here - read RHYTHM

cheers

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Nevermind. wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.