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Times have changed, it’s true

There was a time I could walk into any pub in Sydney
And meet someone
Be it the pool table,
A discussion about the bosses
Or whatever

It doesn’t happen any more.
People go to pubs in groups
And don’t accept intruders.

Something has been lost
Which I can’t quite define.

Perhaps it is me,
Looking old
And assumed uninteresting.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

remove those black thoughts.:)
the title "Times have changed" is quite enough to convey the message

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

I don't know if this one is worth working on.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

author comment

This would make a great poem the theme is solid and reflects what is happening.
There is no need to understand as you have said, it is not our world any more, and that you have written it as it is is OK, but put your skill into that theme and make it a great poem, Yours Ian.T

Haiku:-

Times have changed too much
No one to talks any more
It is the new world

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

This is a bit free even for free verse don't you think? As to subject. I've never been a bar hopper but I Have noticed over the past 15-20 years that young people tend to "group date" and I expect it's the date part that lends itself to excluding others not in the group. Guess those of us who are youth disadvantaged (how's that for PC LOL?) will be forced to hang around with people our own age ...................stan

I don't think your getting old ... My kids go out en masse and I guess so do we
Though my boys like going solo every now and then

I think it reads like a journal entry I'm on my phone will give you some thoughts tomorrow on the pc
I have an idea that you may like

Cheers Jc xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

look like Basil Parkhurst whose gas tank fell off the BELL canada
sixty seven wagon one year when we were kids playing out front
on our lawns in our town...Like little idealist soldiers sent to fight
the hard core others over there..we ran down while he drove his
wagon on the gas in the fuel bowl atop the lines and manifold
home...We ran and Kicked the gas tank off the road...
You are atheist and I say there is a god..Science says that
three determined kids bending and pushing a galvanized steel
tank off a limestone highway full of dust grit and raw gas on an
open round gas pick up cavity slewing fuel that doesnt ignite
and kill all three stupid kids is beyond me!

this is a blog but the rawness like the fuel spilled then is
something..We are old Mate...Im fifty this july and you
have told me your age before..

we cannot pull off what we could as fresh faced youngsters
We can pull off more.. I could zap in my machine to your
Sydney and spent time..You hauling me about and I telling
you the this and that...

I have the same issues but I hold them
back...
and you charge out there

Im six feet with this face
there is no invisible in the bar
no unassuming
I sit right at the bar
waitress and till right there
and people come in and
approach me

I shaved my head and picked
the most unassuming
clothes and no dice

there is no nothing but bucking
it up my friend for me

if you put on a second hand
expensive jacket with decent
shoes not so expensive knock
off shirt and tinted mofo glasses
with kick ass belt you could
move in Sydney

You look like enough like a hard ass
I think you try hard for creds
you think you dont have
but you know better

Want to feel young..I hop on my bike
and shove it ten klicks one way and back
today....I feel it mate...Im fucking old
and I say>>shit I can still get out there
and do this!!! and I do...

but I can write poetry too from reading
Milton and Atwood and Sexton too
and others through the years,

You are correct in saying read poetry
but you never give links or suggest
your readings that helped you
other then what we can find from
eachs Profiles

I spend hours pulling my white beard
hairs...but have to let this go

I hate to look like the old ones I see
wandering slow on the street
full white beard and salted hair
etc..

I like this as a poem and not a blog actually

We are always who we are. Do not expect the shallow human race to go beneath the exterior in this world of falsies. You are still unique20 years before now and after

this has absolutely no prosodic value.

Sometimes when I just write out thoughts like this a strange alchemy happens and the words resonate, even if it is still difficult to identify specific prosodic qualities.

When it doesn't happen it doesn't and there's fuck all I can do about it.

I understand it makes some of you angry, especially when I have given you harsh critiques. But really when one of my poems just doesn't work re-writes and edits are like doing CPR on a skeleton.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

author comment

and I will heed it,
thanks

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

author comment

But you are smarter and kinder.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

author comment

I agree with Beau, this piece just needs your skill and it will bloom.
I said before it is basically sound, just needs a little more from you.
Put it out as a challenge to others using your theme, or something,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

the theme, but feel you can do better. It is good advice, to let it simmer. I have a half of a dozen poems partly written that just weren't working at a point, so I just let them 'simmer' and go back to them on occasion to see if I see them differently or can do something else with them. This has the makings of a good, solid poem. A thought just occurred to me, maybe it would do better if it were Haiku! ~ Gee

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I am not alone in the melee of life
Well known guys
like Jess
are besides
well I thought of reading
some of yours too
may be I'd improve
have I Jess?

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