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THREE MANES AND A DREAM(April Contest)
I felt the ground below being erased
I felt the wind upon my face
I felt the strength of an embrace
I saw the wide open plains
I saw the flurry of three manes
I saw the sky begin to rain
No shelter was there to be found
so we traversed o'er the rain soaked ground
I heard the hooves melodic sound
or was I hearing our hearts pound?
I touched the softness of your skin
the earth was quaking from within
I tasted the flavor of desire
a dream of all senses
I awoke on fire
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Contest:
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Comments
c lynn brooks
Fri, 2020-04-24 18:48
This was written for a very
This was written for a very dear friend
Chrys
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author commentc lynn brooks
Sat, 2020-04-25 09:35
Melinda
welcome to Neo Poet
Thank you so much your comments are very kind
Chrys
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author commentc lynn brooks
Sun, 2020-04-26 10:42
Alan
thank you ,yes I do rhyme every now and then
have you figured out the three manes lol
Chrys
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author commentGracy
Sun, 2020-04-26 14:40
Good poem, Lynn. I like the
Good poem, Lynn. I like the rhyming lines. I think perhaps the three manes are invaders, I've read about them somewhere. Medieval?
Enjoyed.
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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury
c lynn brooks
Sun, 2020-04-26 15:33
gracy
lol not even close but good try.thank you for stopping to read I appreciate it
Chrys
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author commentscribbler
Sun, 2020-04-26 17:32
Hi
A very good poem but I reckon most poems in this contes of give me your best will be good lol. You might consider deleting "her" in stanza 3, line 2 and see if you like it
c lynn brooks
Sun, 2020-04-26 19:18
Stan
thre is no her in this poem I'm not understanding what you refer to.ahhh I see it now that is o'er not her as in over and that I think I will leave I tried removing it did not car for it that way thanks for the suggestion
Chrys
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author commentscribbler
Mon, 2020-04-27 01:29
Dang spell check.
O'er is the word which the comp changed to her
c lynn brooks
Mon, 2020-04-27 07:04
melinda
you are so close yes it is a dream as you stated in the first part but the three manes
man long black hair, women lond blonde hair riding double and the third mane is the horse lol
Chrys
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author commentc lynn brooks
Mon, 2020-04-27 20:35
jerry
never to late, thank you for your kind comment
Chrys
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