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Why In This Ever Loving World

Why in this ever loving world
why should the phrase
"that was very sweet of you"
sound so condescending
when it was meant as a compliment
By an incredible gentleman

Could it be the way
I see myself
me thinks that it is

When will I see that everyone does not have
an ulterior motive?
Why can I not believe in me any more

I believe all that I have seen
and been through
has turned me against any suitor

Have I sunken to the depths
of self hatred?
Me thinks I may need help
understanding what has become
of me

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Speaking from experience, when a gentleman makes a compliment, he is often times very appreciative of a good gesture because (as you have, no doubt experienced also) good gestures are few and far between these days. Now to a small critique..

It's hard to say nowadays, because dialect is different all over, but I am confused in the first two lines and quite stuck as to what exactly the grammatical kerfuffle might be.
Your muse is not pondering whether or not you like who you are but of course, sometimes, it's good just to get something off your chest and it's a very relatable subject. I expect I will learn more about you the more I read you.
Sorry I can't be much more help, but I hope you can appreciate my effort.

Thomas

....so like my lost dreams...the flood

Thank you so much for visiting and for your "effort" I do hope you will read more of me as I will of you.

Chrys

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author comment

It would appear that we have dueling Darkness going on between us, I love a poem I can relate to and this one seems to start off more of a statement than a poem but morphs into a poetic statement to which I can relate (how was that for bring things nicely around) It's hard to feel this way but feeling down does produce some good fodder for poetic waxing as you have done here

And so it does. Thanks for the words

Chrys

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author comment

I see what Triskelion means about the first couple of lines.
It can be straightened out like this:

Why should the phrase:
"That was very sweet of you"
sound so condescending?
When it was meant as a compliment
by an incredible gentleman

When will I see that not everyone
has an ulterior motive?
Why can I not believe in me anymore?

Could it be the way
that I see myself?
I'm thinking it is

Have I sunken to the depths
of self-hatred?
I may need help
understanding what has become
of me

The passage about having seen
and been through things that may have turned
you against any suitor, don't belong in this work about self-doubt.

As always, you are welcome to use or paraphrase anything or idea
that I have given you. Be especially kind and 'sweet' to that gentleman!
~ Geez.
.

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I like what you have done with the first verse will fix it when I return from dinner

Chrys

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author comment

say what now? lol is that cheery enough

Chrys

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author comment

You might have given this the same meaning as a southern person saying"aren't you sweet" which is far from a compliment. But I am also one who when complimented has trouble taking it at face vale and too often looks for the motive behind the compliment. Enjoyed this poem.........and no I'm not trying to sell you anything lol

Thank you

Chrys

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author comment

please do not doubt your worth. you are a lovely lady who deserves all the happiness you find! you are also a very good poet and friend!

love ya, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

AND YOU ARE BIASED LOL BUT THANK YOU don't know why that phrase upset me so much it is like patting me on the head and saying what a good girl

Chrys

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author comment
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