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Shadows Of The Night ( contest Entry)

Shadows Of The Night
By Damien Stryker

I roam the shadows of the night
in search of my delicate prey
perhaps she will wander into sight
daylight will be upon us soon
so quickly I must work
by the light of the moon
first her throat I will gently taste
to not sink my teeth in
would be such a waste
such a pity
moonlight has passed
so I travel home
without my lass

Damien Stryker

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I mean, you have all the elements here, but it seems like you were in too much of a hurry to get this done. Draw it out a bit! Let it build up and tell us about the emotion, tell us the feel of the night, the taste of her blood! I know you are not much for rhyme, so if it stifles you, do it free style. Good start!
~ Geez.
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Thanks let me mull it over a bit and see what I can come up with

Chrys

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author comment

you have given us a little taste, which teases us to want more, greedy things that we are! you have a good base here, now give us some landscaping. (by way of details) we really like what you have so far. more please?

*hugs, Cat
ever, eddy styx
-

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

I was wondering... should the word "site" be (sight)? or is it a play on words? it is so very nice to see you here, I have missed you!

*hugs, Cat
& eddy styx
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"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

Sight

Chrys

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author comment
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