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Tender Is The Rose
Delicate the tender stem when new
reaching for the sun
a soft sweet bud comes forth and appears
still fighting for her share of the sky
she opens full bloom
and finds the softest tendril that binds
but bitter winds lash out and maim
the forces of nature are to blame
they tear and rend a life so fine
successfully breaking her spirit in time
destroying all that dare raise it's wrath
she'll lay broken and torn
upon life's path
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
about one jaded person
Editing stage:
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Comments
Geezer
Sun, 2020-05-10 07:35
Jaded?...
I can't see this person as jaded. I see a person that has been kicked by life as it rides by. I hope she uses the tears to make clay with the dirt she lies in and makes a beautiful sculpture. ~ Geezer.
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c lynn brooks
Mon, 2020-05-11 06:51
Gee
thank you. I wrote this for a girl I used to work with
Chrys
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author commentc lynn brooks
Sun, 2020-05-10 12:09
Alan
Thank you for reading and your input
stanza 1 line 3 I did change you suggestion by one word
and I did change the other to share it seems to have softened thaat line
and that my friend is what a critique should look like
Chrys
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author commentRula
Sun, 2020-05-10 14:22
Interesting
Piece dear Chrys. I'm sorry your friend has to go through such troubles. The first stanza is so descriptive. I can image a v. beautiful lady and the second stanza is not less efficient in Showing how badly she's treated/abused?
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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c lynn brooks
Sun, 2020-05-10 19:08
Rula
Thank you so much for stopping to read. I appreciate that small gesture
Chrys
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author commentLavender
Sun, 2020-05-10 22:20
Hi, Chrys
A rose truly is tender and delicate, especially against such harsh realities as you've described. A rose is also one of the most fragrant flowers giving a sense of calm, spirituality, and rejuvenation. The last two lines are heartbreaking. Very moving poetry.
Thank you!
L
c lynn brooks
Mon, 2020-05-11 06:56
Lavender
Thank you reading your comments mean a lot
Chrys
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author commentc lynn brooks
Mon, 2020-05-11 06:57
Teddy
Thank you that is very kind of you
Chrys
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