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Snow White and the Witchy

She's too harsh to be of any help, they said
her blunt honest truths cause her much pains
many mouths shouting obscenities, disdain
no apologies as she's right so, she's seeing red

Sanity is as feathers blown from your head
like a mist common sense is gone gone
"we got this, don't need ya" you said
"I got power of authority he's my dad" wrong

He has several at his bedside, wicked
"seven dysfunctional dwarf, loathed
Snow White by his side offering help, get ditched
wicked tried to puts poison applesauce down her throat,

The witchy antics won't be tolerated forever
when she looks into the mirror on the wall
It'll never tell a lie, it's a benevoler
bossing grown ppl around will be your downfall.

Was Snow White too straightforward, word choice?
was she too honest, too frank in her speeches?
did the simple words of clarity came out too harsh?
has the wicked senses been jarred to pieces?

The truth hurts when living a lie built on tricks
proudly acting dumb as if she's uninformed, annoying
it won't work in life and death situations for this, wicked
Snow White said it direct, they feeling annoyed

Moral of story
No matter how well it's said troublemakers are about face
a glory-hog just gotta take the wheels of glory
a wicked'll find chaotic drama anywhere, lambaste
and power is a vicious vice tearing families apart, unholy

Wicked last days dwells in the hearts
of the wicked ones throwing darts
at Snow White's parts
but she ain't scared of wicked talks

Editing stage: 

Comments

Seems like you've missed the right workshop dear. Are you sure this is a submission for the sonnet workshop?

No worries,

please answer the following questions. After you do, we can then move to the next step. Let's take it one by one:

1. How many lines make a Petrarchan sonnet?
2. How many parts make a Petrarchan sonnet? And what is the rhyme scheme of each part?

As I said, let's do it in small bites. No Worries!!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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Nice try! I'm watching this space! :)

Love Mand xxx

will be watching this space
carn Barb - you can do it
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

I'm no expert but if I follow Rula's guidelines, I don't think this is sonnet. Still I admire your ability to put your ideas into words..

Alid

1. How many lines make a Petrarchan sonnet? I don't know
2. How many parts make a Petrarchan sonnet? Don't know
Sorry I didn't research sonnet. I expected to learn everything here lol
And what is the rhyme scheme of each part? Rhyme scheme abab

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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author comment

When I know that whatever I put in the main thread under the syllabus is not read by many.
The answers are all there, even in the first posts.

You know that this takes much time and effort to prepare, don't you dear?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

I didn't read it. As I know many don't. But I've read it now. I have looked up Italian Petrarchan poetry and will Elizabeathn English later after I get this stressed and unstressed down. did I get this "I ride THROUGH the CORriDOR of life"

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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author comment

you are close
i RIDE through the CORR -i -DOOR of LIFE

If you wish to make it in iambic rhythm
i RIDE through- OUT the COrr - i - DOOR of LIFE

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Bc I am hopelessly extremely tone deaf to syllable stress so I need to learn this differently that is visually remember it or something unque. Ive been in two meter WS and couldn't get right to save my life. Jess and someone else gave up lol. Jess said I don't speak the language when he heard me read it on google drive thing.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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You haven't answered my questions dear about the number of the lines, how many parts are in the Petrarchan sonnet and what is the rhyme scheme?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

My mind can barely grasp stress and unstress. Tell me tell me

i RIDE through OUT the CORriDOR of LIFE
these THIN weak LEGS keep PACE with MY deVICE

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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author comment

these THIN|WEAK LEGS |KEEP PACE |with MY|deVICE

You have the no. Of feet right. But foot no. 2 and 3.are all stressed.
The first foot, 4 and 5 are perfect iamb

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

I think you think you are still in the Humour workshop.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

I read it. Don't mean I get it feet foot are tough

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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author comment

every regional dialect and accent has different ways of saying things. Sonnets do tend to 14 lines though.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

It's a pretty fun poem on its own merit.
But not a sonnet.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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down that at least past

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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