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Snow White and the Witchy
She's too harsh to be of any help, they said
her blunt honest truths cause her much pains
many mouths shouting obscenities, disdain
no apologies as she's right so, she's seeing red
Sanity is as feathers blown from your head
like a mist common sense is gone gone
"we got this, don't need ya" you said
"I got power of authority he's my dad" wrong
He has several at his bedside, wicked
"seven dysfunctional dwarf, loathed
Snow White by his side offering help, get ditched
wicked tried to puts poison applesauce down her throat,
The witchy antics won't be tolerated forever
when she looks into the mirror on the wall
It'll never tell a lie, it's a benevoler
bossing grown ppl around will be your downfall.
Was Snow White too straightforward, word choice?
was she too honest, too frank in her speeches?
did the simple words of clarity came out too harsh?
has the wicked senses been jarred to pieces?
The truth hurts when living a lie built on tricks
proudly acting dumb as if she's uninformed, annoying
it won't work in life and death situations for this, wicked
Snow White said it direct, they feeling annoyed
Moral of story
No matter how well it's said troublemakers are about face
a glory-hog just gotta take the wheels of glory
a wicked'll find chaotic drama anywhere, lambaste
and power is a vicious vice tearing families apart, unholy
Wicked last days dwells in the hearts
of the wicked ones throwing darts
at Snow White's parts
but she ain't scared of wicked talks
Comments
Rula
Wed, 2015-01-28 07:34
Barbara...Lol
Seems like you've missed the right workshop dear. Are you sure this is a submission for the sonnet workshop?
No worries,
please answer the following questions. After you do, we can then move to the next step. Let's take it one by one:
1. How many lines make a Petrarchan sonnet?
2. How many parts make a Petrarchan sonnet? And what is the rhyme scheme of each part?
As I said, let's do it in small bites. No Worries!!
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mand
Wed, 2015-01-28 09:03
Hi Barbara
Nice try! I'm watching this space! :)
Love Mand xxx
judyanne
Wed, 2015-01-28 09:55
I also
will be watching this space
carn Barb - you can do it
love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
alidzain
Wed, 2015-01-28 11:55
Barbara
I'm no expert but if I follow Rula's guidelines, I don't think this is sonnet. Still I admire your ability to put your ideas into words..
Alid
Barbara Writes
Wed, 2015-01-28 14:00
Rula
1. How many lines make a Petrarchan sonnet? I don't know
2. How many parts make a Petrarchan sonnet? Don't know
Sorry I didn't research sonnet. I expected to learn everything here lol
And what is the rhyme scheme of each part? Rhyme scheme abab
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Rula
Thu, 2015-01-29 00:28
This really saddens me
When I know that whatever I put in the main thread under the syllabus is not read by many.
The answers are all there, even in the first posts.
You know that this takes much time and effort to prepare, don't you dear?
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Barbara Writes
Fri, 2015-01-30 00:25
Guilty
I didn't read it. As I know many don't. But I've read it now. I have looked up Italian Petrarchan poetry and will Elizabeathn English later after I get this stressed and unstressed down. did I get this "I ride THROUGH the CORriDOR of life"
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judyanne
Fri, 2015-01-30 00:47
if you are just concentrating on the stress Barb
you are close
i RIDE through the CORR -i -DOOR of LIFE
If you wish to make it in iambic rhythm
i RIDE through- OUT the COrr - i - DOOR of LIFE
love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Barbara Writes
Fri, 2015-01-30 03:36
Yeah
Bc I am hopelessly extremely tone deaf to syllable stress so I need to learn this differently that is visually remember it or something unque. Ive been in two meter WS and couldn't get right to save my life. Jess and someone else gave up lol. Jess said I don't speak the language when he heard me read it on google drive thing.
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Rula
Fri, 2015-01-30 03:10
Still
You haven't answered my questions dear about the number of the lines, how many parts are in the Petrarchan sonnet and what is the rhyme scheme?
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Barbara Writes
Fri, 2015-01-30 04:21
I still don't know
My mind can barely grasp stress and unstress. Tell me tell me
i RIDE through OUT the CORriDOR of LIFE
these THIN weak LEGS keep PACE with MY deVICE
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Rula
Fri, 2015-01-30 09:50
these THIN|WEAK LEGS |KEEP
these THIN|WEAK LEGS |KEEP PACE |with MY|deVICE
You have the no. Of feet right. But foot no. 2 and 3.are all stressed.
The first foot, 4 and 5 are perfect iamb
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weirdelf
Fri, 2015-01-30 23:28
Barbara, read the syllabus
I think you think you are still in the Humour workshop.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
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Barbara Writes
Sat, 2015-01-31 00:30
Jess
I read it. Don't mean I get it feet foot are tough
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weirdelf
Sat, 2015-01-31 01:09
feet are so tough!
every regional dialect and accent has different ways of saying things. Sonnets do tend to 14 lines though.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
wesley snow
Thu, 2015-02-05 21:30
Too bad it's not a sonnet.
It's a pretty fun poem on its own merit.
But not a sonnet.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
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Barbara Writes
Thu, 2015-02-05 23:22
I'll be changing this once I get a sonnet
down that at least past
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