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Pathway to the Pleiades

Submitted by Seren on Mon, 2023-03-06 08:04

I have chosen
to go walkabout
without destiny
nor with doubt

Through a recanting of earth
I'll pass through many veils
finding the greater magic
is a touchstone of the grails

Along the misty road
I'll travel without fear
picking up vibrations
I'm an elfen pioneer

Gossamer filbrils of light
softly drift round my head
as I walk among the stars
I'm dazzled as they dispread

I am watching as my skin
Seems to shimmer from within,
Seeing the truth revealed
my soul is enamelled sans sin

Alighting from the orbs
I finally float to ground
I discovered a hidden path
leading to the profound

As I gently close my eyes
I follow a song in my soul
and crossing the Eovly fault
my body loses all control

Like a magnificent supernova
that has suddenly reached its end
I'm now exploding into the void
my spirit reached it's final transcend

A billion heavenly bodies
now shine in the evening skies
there among them hiding
I'm now a smiling demiguise

Style / type:

Structured: Western

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing stage:

Editing - draft

Contest:

Neopoem Of The Week March 5th to March 11th 2023

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Comments

lovedly

Mon, 2023-03-06 08:25

Beautiful words I learn from your poetry

I observe you have not found any of mine goodly
lately

lol never mind
I have a greater mind ....

won't give up suddenly
I read u daily

Seren

Mon, 2023-03-06 08:32

Thank you!. I can't read if I

Thank you!. I can't read if I haven't been here. I had a family emergency halfway across the state to attend to, 8hrs away from here. I'll get around to reading some of your new poems.

Smiles Love Sis xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

Geezer

Mon, 2023-03-06 10:14

you could have done better
with your title. This poem deserves a great title.
Your walk among the stars and constellations needs
a grander sign to attract the reader. I mean...
"Hiding in Disguise"? Of course, if you are in hiding
you would use a disguise. How about something like:

Pathway in the Stars? or Walkabout in the Pleiades?
Pathway in the Pleiades!

I found no fault with anything else.
A trip of extraordinary beauty amongst the constellations.

~ Geez.
.

This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place

Seren

Mon, 2023-03-06 10:25

Hmm what about. The Grail in

Hmm what about. The Grail in the Heavens (or stars)??..

This one wrote itself. And there is one word in there that I made up myself and it's from the thing in December. Eovly. I made it up for something else.

I'm so happy you liked it

Love Sis xxx

Edit:- I Changed the title to one you suggested I took
a shine to it.

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

Geezer

Mon, 2023-03-06 10:37

So glad...

that I could help. This may be the one that will take the contest! ~ Love and higgest bugs, ~ Geez.
.

This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place

Seren

Mon, 2023-03-06 13:13

I actually wasn't sure what

I actually wasn't sure what to call it and just put the original title just so it had one lol.

I appreciate the help I'm really happy you liked it.

Love and higgliest bugs Sis xox

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

scribbler

Mon, 2023-03-06 16:55

OK

Eovly.....an interesting made up word but what does it mean?That aside this is an interesting poem.

Seren

Tue, 2023-03-07 06:58

"Eovly" is a place

smiles, thanks for the visit it's always good to see you

love Sis xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

RoseBlack

Mon, 2023-03-06 18:34

This is just

lovely! I love the part of transcending from the orbs! You are truly a master at writing fantasy/fairy tale like poetry. Your choice of words is always elegant and flow so easily. Love this!

~RoseBlack~

Seren

Tue, 2023-03-07 07:00