Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

opaque dreams

Submitted by Seren on Fri, 2013-04-19 07:41

O beautiful night

your black wings

extinguish the light

 

cloak me in darkness

paint my face in shade

for I am a shadow to life

 

existing on ash and soot

I am sustained in a void

covered in mother earth

 

my mask of horror is hidden,

but a full moon unveils my face

and the pall of depression bows

 

 the ebony trail I shred

withdraws from inner light,

I shall subsist in shadows

 

until silence rules no more

 

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Frenchf

Sat, 2013-04-20 17:23

As it meant to. It would do well for a prayer!interesting

Seren

Thu, 2013-04-25 07:06

Seren's picture

I guess it does have a religious flavour thanks for the read and your thoughts

hugs JC

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

Josephus

Thu, 2013-04-25 07:23

Josephus's picture

For all its darkness there is a strain of comfort in this, Jayne. As I read this I find myself thinking of a tulip bulb in warm moist earth waiting to sprout new life. Waiting "until silence rules no more"

sincerely,

Joe

My mind's writing cheques my body can't cash.

Seren

Wed, 2013-05-15 09:44

Seren's picture

Thanks for your thoughts and time, I am very happy you liked it

sincerely Jayne-Chloe

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

Ian.T

Fri, 2013-04-26 02:52

Ian.T's picture
Volunteer badge

Time to walk in the light it feeds the Spirit, though this write is as usual from you and will show where some go.
It is a shame that there is not more communication between people that need just someone there to hold the light for them, Yours Ian.Tx

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Seren

Wed, 2013-05-15 09:46

Seren's picture

Just needing someone to hold the light for them, beautifully sad and said hugs

love always JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.