Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

opaque dreams

Submitted by Serendipity on Fri, 2013-04-19 07:41

O beautiful night

your black wings

extinguish the light

 

cloak me in darkness

paint my face in shade

for I am a shadow to life

 

existing on ash and soot

I am sustained in a void

covered in mother earth

 

my mask of horror is hidden,

but a full moon unveils my face

and the pall of depression bows

 

 the ebony trail I shred

withdraws from inner light,

I shall subsist in shadows

 

until silence rules no more

 

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Frenchf

Sat, 2013-04-20 17:23

As it meant to. It would do well for a prayer!interesting

Serendipity

Thu, 2013-04-25 07:06

Serendipity's picture

I guess it does have a religious flavour thanks for the read and your thoughts

hugs JC

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

Josephus

Thu, 2013-04-25 07:23

Josephus's picture

For all its darkness there is a strain of comfort in this, Jayne. As I read this I find myself thinking of a tulip bulb in warm moist earth waiting to sprout new life. Waiting "until silence rules no more"

sincerely,

Joe

My mind's writing cheques my body can't cash.

Serendipity

Wed, 2013-05-15 09:44

Serendipity's picture

Thanks for your thoughts and time, I am very happy you liked it

sincerely Jayne-Chloe

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

Ian.T

Fri, 2013-04-26 02:52

Ian.T's picture
Volunteer badge

Time to walk in the light it feeds the Spirit, though this write is as usual from you and will show where some go.
It is a shame that there is not more communication between people that need just someone there to hold the light for them, Yours Ian.Tx

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Serendipity

Wed, 2013-05-15 09:46

Serendipity's picture

Just needing someone to hold the light for them, beautifully sad and said hugs

love always JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.