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Ode To P.T.S.D.

Ode To P.T.S.D.

When hope is but a memory
of things that were not meant to be
frozen in a frame of mind
that sanity has left behind

days seem long and full of pain
a never-ending acid rain
eating at your very soul
until it is no longer whole

when even those you love seem lost
victims of the holocaust
your daily life has fallen in
like some enormous pit of sin

when time is but an enemy
designed to never set you free
and flashbacks fom a sordid past
are all that ever seem to last

ghosts of those you used to know
return in some relentless show
that plays encores within your brain
and slowly drives you quite insane

when even God seems not to care
about the burdens that you bear
this is now your emptiness
a pawn of post traumatic stress

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Even after many years it's still with me.
Editing stage: 

Comments

the state post traumatic state, is pretty well expressed by you Lonnie ...the pain could be perceived...

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

to see you post Lonnie, even though it is such a sad theme. There are many who might say, just get over it. It's done and over. I am not one of those. I have seen the misery that P.T.S.D. has brought to people I love and care about. You have done a fine job of expressing what it has done to so many lives and your work leaves nothing to be desired in a poem that is as near perfect in rhyme and rhythm as anyone could want. ~ Gee.
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Not one of the best subjects for a poem but I felt compelled to write it anyway. Will try to lighten up a bit for my next post!

author comment

Such a personal piece that speaks very much to me at this moment. Your description of what a victim of PTSD goes through is most accurate. Good to see you writing again.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

I wonder if a person who has never experienced this malady can ever really be made to understand how bad it is. I like to think I do but am not certain. Your poem here does a good job getting the nightmarish part across but the day to day aspect might be better described. Is that unrelenting part similar to physical pain which doesn't end> Hope I'll never know. BTW good to see you back........stan

is unrelenting. Triggers are everywhere and surface at the most random times. It impacts your daily life in ways that are difficult to understand unless you experience it. The brain fog, the nightmares, the unstoppable fear, the inability to move on because your subconscious is stuck in whatever situation/trauma you were involved in. Definitely a write that hits home.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

A difficult peace, that falls outside the scope of criticism. Hard subject, that affects US, UK, Australian, and any number of of countries in between, deftly written, well done.

Cheers,

Chris

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

Good to see you posting, your poetry is
always a pleasure, even when the content
isn't. Thank you for sharing with us.

This piece was very personal to me and I'm glad it's getting good feedback.

author comment

Sad and scary subject
and beautifully crafted poem
Thank you for taking their pain so deeply

IRiz

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