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Learning

I listen to leaves, then know the sound of falling;
and smelling dew-kissed acorns, I gain the scent of morning;
Waliking brush-grown Logging roads in mid-October, I gain the knowledge of the home-life of squirrels;
Remembering sweet September showers, tears of summer on Autumn's cheeks, my thoughts flow across the pages of unborn volumes, leaking words

C. Lon R. Bruso

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

it is so very good to see you writing and posting your work here! I love this piece, line for line...your words give proof that we give birth to our poetry and prose, etc.

*hugs, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

Good to hear from you, dear lady Cat, glad you enjoyed this little morsel!

author comment

I'm not sure what type poetry this is but I Am sure I like it. I'd begun to wonder if you were still around.......stan

No, not dead yet, will be 70 in September though, Thanks for reading!

author comment

To this reader this poem has a good flow of images, physical and metaphysical, reads nicely. Somewhere between a poem and a prose poem, a somewhat modern approach we're staring to see in those few places left that influence styles, such as Poetry Magazine or New Yorker. I think this is a particularly good work, I've not been that enthusiastic about most of the works in this style I've seen.

I think perhaps because it can be read to "sound" like a poem despite the presentation which would traditionally follow the length of the line without pausing. Reading aloud in your head, which is the way I think poetry should be read, you have to break up the long lines with your own pauses. I personally think it would be a stronger "poem" if it was broken into 15 lines or so. Whereas traditionally poetry works with meter and rhyme, blank verse usually has the pace in a line the flow. The prose poem is a different read, it reads more as prose.This work is kinda in between...

To me the strength of the poem is the logic and good images like- home life of squirrels, scent of morning etc. Some punctuation issues, sometimes capitalizing the words after semi colon, other times not...did you want to finish with a period?

Lastly, and just an honest reaction. Like all art, poetry exists out of time and seasons. One printed or published,or painted, the work of art is what it is. However, the internet has indeed even changed that! All our heads, other than perhaps our friends in Australia, are into summer now, the first day was just yesterday. Poetry is unlike painting or novels in this way, as we are all writing poems about events in real time. Like there was a lot of political poems and poems about the terrorist attacks recently, as a response. So this site is somewhat in real time, at least in terms of seasons- a lot of the neopoets are writing works about summer, the birds etc. So the theme appeals to me, but I think your poem might be more a little more appreciated in a few months... just sayin'.
I'd love to see some of your other works.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

Your review is most welcome and appreciated and I am happy that you found this piece worthwhile!

author comment

Your natural flair for meter and structure is here.
There is also a gentleness and a touch of the metaphysical not so common from you.
Bloody fine work, sir.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

Coming from you, this is good praise indeed, seeya on facebook!

author comment
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