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No more the fool

Submitted by Tigger Kaz on Mon, 2023-04-24 02:44

Open wide and ever seeing
Unshackled and believing
Blinkers off to allow
Absence of all that's sallow

Refusing to swallow the pill
Standing up in strong will
To see them eat humble pie
Oh yet you may well ask but why

For rose coloured specs are no more
Trampled and discarded on the floor
A forgotten and useless tool
For no more am I the fool

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
This is a sociopolitical poem. Born from a great feeling of angst towards the state of our politics and the growing Inequality in Britain now.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

neopoet

Mon, 2023-04-24 02:44

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The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "No more the fool" is a bold and empowering piece that celebrates the speaker's liberation from ignorance and naivety. The use of vivid imagery and strong language evokes a sense of determination and strength in the reader. The poem's structure is simple yet effective, with each line flowing naturally into the next.

One suggestion for line edit would be to change "A forgotten and useless tool" to "A tool now forgotten and useless" to improve the flow and rhythm of the line.

Overall, "No more the fool" is a well-crafted poem that delivers a powerful message of self-empowerment and growth. The language and imagery make it an engaging and thought-provoking read.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Tigger Kaz

Mon, 2023-04-24 03:11

Tigger Kaz's picture

A forgotten and useless tool,
Then rhymes with
No more the fool.

If I change to suggestion, then I would need to change my last line surely.. Else I ruin my rhyming cuplets.

author comment

Geezer

Mon, 2023-04-24 09:20

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of discontent, I feel your frustration in the poem that you have written. I understand. I agree that the AI has not taken the rhyme into account. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Ruby Lord

Mon, 2023-04-24 09:54

Ruby Lord's picture

Your poem is great and I agree on your comments to AI. I don't think he gets the idea of rhyming structure?

I understand the angst you are feeling about our current political system and it is not a good place to be in right now, especially where every action they take appears to be loaded with under currents of slease and manipulation.

I hope in time and soon, we can overcome what they have done and we learn and grow so we can make the political system less of a form of control for those with personal desires over the majority :(

Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.

Tigger Kaz

Thu, 2023-05-25 03:00

Tigger Kaz's picture

Unfortunately I fear things will only get worse, and not better.
I am 51, and things have been getting progressively worse over the last 40 odd years.
Yet most people are either not bothered by the corrupt practices, or they are distracted elsewhere - so thru seem oblivious to what is going on.

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