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Night Owls
Pale eyes peer down
from leafless oak
beneath the watchful gleam
of ice-chip stars
on moonless nights,
when they dance
their whispered death
on silent wings of hunger.
No quiet hints
of tiny feet
escape attention,
no faintest rustle
dim in darkness
evades anticipation,
no silence paused
on edge of fear
will lose the focus
of sharp ear
when they listen
for patterings of prey.
And after flight,
after night,
down past
swooping dark
of rending claw
and silent death,
only bones and fur
in tiny pellets
left beneath
the frosted oak
on old snow drifts
in morning winter sun
reveal evidence
of hunt for those
who cannot see
through darkness
to the beauty
of night owls.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
Getting home at 3:00 am after a night walk on Friday, I spotted an owl.
Hence this poem.
Editing stage:
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Author information
Region & Country
Earth Vicinity (within a five light-year radius)
Favorite Poets
John Donne, T.S. Eliot, Serendipity, Emily Dickenson, Kailashana, Charles Bukowski, Kabir, Rett, Dalton, W. B. Yeats, William Blake, Rainer Maria Rilke, and many other Neopoet poets; Neopoet has heavily influenced my poetry and my ability to write it well.
Other recent work
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Comments
lou
Mon, 2010-11-22 00:27
Hey
Very descriptive , can't find fault, love your poems .
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Race_9togo
Mon, 2010-11-22 00:52
Hey, thanks Lou
I was surprised to see the owl, they're quite rare here these days.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
author commentRace_9togo
Mon, 2010-11-22 01:09
LOL
Jayne, the first reply I made to Shirl...is for YOU.
can you say "site glitch"?
heehee. Read it please! lol
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
author commentRace_9togo
Mon, 2010-11-22 01:11
LMAO
OK, now the damned reply has become a COMMENT on my own poem! The Chaos Lords have gripped me tonight!
lol
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
author commentRace_9togo
Mon, 2010-11-22 01:12
Shirl
lol Thanks for your lovely comment, I am glad that you enjoyed it so much.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
author commentRace_9togo
Mon, 2010-11-22 01:07
Ah, you know,
It really doesn't bother me too much that people don't comment often on what I write. On the old site I could see by the stats that people were reading my stuff, and coming back to it. I hope they can re-initiate that function on our new site; that, for me, was the measure of how my poetry was developing, and not just the comments.
I would love to see the picture, I'll PM my email address - owls hold a special place in my life.
And say hello to Boss for me when next you see him, would you? I always enjoyed his poems.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
author commentRace_9togo
Mon, 2010-11-22 21:08
Rosina thank you so much
for your kind comment.
To be honest I was never very interested in anything but getting better at writing poetry, on the old site. I received more than enough excellent criticism from those who were serious about the workshop aspects, and even now, I do prefer negative, or at least, objective, criticism.
That is why I enjoyed being criticized by people like Weirdelf and Chrys and Pugilist and Jayne and Arrow and Ink Dragon and all the others - you know who you are - because it improved my writing by leaps and bounds.
Not that I don't like positive reviews and gushing comments; of course I do, I'm human! You and I have spoken of such things in the past. But my attitude towards this is that I will never, not ever, be good enough, and I must remedy this by listening to what others say about what I write, and taking that opinion and advice to heart as I write. Audience is everything to a poet who wants to improve his skills, and Neopoet was, is, and will be filled with real, honest-to-gods poets who have a true desire to help people like me get better at writing poetry.
As I have said before, I have absolutely no ego in this, none at all, although if people want to insult me personally - only happened once on the old site, and not for a poem - I am willing to fight the hell back, but it's more likely that I will thank the insulter for their comment, then pick it apart, as a critic, heehee.
So, while I am not surprised at the attitude of some, who ignore the work of others for whatever reason, I really don't care if they do ignore. In fact, that works to my advantage, because I can concentrate on those comments that are serious, and those who are serious about giving them.
And yeah, I love owls too, probably my favorite bird, after the raven. The RAVEN? Well what did you expect...I AM a pagan, you know!
;)
Thanks again Rosina,
with much affection, I am
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
author commentVictorclaude
Tue, 2010-11-23 07:16
"and silent death,
"and silent death,
only bones and fur
in tiny pellets"
Eating, excreting. Even owls know these in their solitary presence.
Flow of this piece seemed effortless and whole.
Thank you.
Victor
"When a pickpocket meets a holy man all he sees are his pockets."
Unknown (at least to me)
Race_9togo
Tue, 2010-11-23 15:23
Thanks Victor
Yes, they know it on the most basic of levels. Perhaps that is why we associate them with wisdom.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
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