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The Marine

As I lie here,
In this long forgotten place,
I realize I must look queer,
With this smile upon my face,
My blood has soaked the ground,
My rivers course run out,
But in this hour I have found,
Not one reason to sit and pout,
For all of those who came before,
And all of those to follow,
Destined are we now to soar,
To our families greater sorrow,
We’ve died on the shores of Tripoli,
And one day maybe mars,
We’ve died so you could say you’re free,
In each and every conflict of ours,
To the families of the few,
Do not cry for us,
‘Cause we did not mean to cause this fuss,
Tell dad I’ll miss the fishin,
But the trout are great up here,
Tell mom I’ll miss her kitchen,
But please don’t shed a tear,
For I’ll be always watchful,
And I’ll see you when you get here.

Zachary J. Eakin

Editing stage: 


Normally I'd suggest dividing into stanzas. But for some reason I can't explain this is great as is..........stan

I have to say that as soon as i read this i recognized the military suggestion but Tripoli made you the star of my day:) OOh Rah!!!

Tommi Cordial

Dawn breaks over marble head...

Semper Fi

author comment

The flow and composition of this piece is very good, only one place that spoilt the whole was:-
Tell dad I’ll miss the fishin,
But the trout are great up here,
I know here and tear are linked but nothing links with the fishin suggest you throw it a line.
Otherwise a grand write, Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Thank you for the crit. my friend. That part was more meant to illicit an emotional response. When I was a little kid my dad used to take me fishing every saturday and every sunday morning my mom would have fresh baked cinnamon rolls in the kitchen. After I joined the Marines that stopped. I think I put it in more for me than the sake of the poem. Because in the end that's all poetry is, a form of expressing what is hard to express any other way. At least it is for me. Again thank you for you observation.


author comment
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