Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.


A man sits alone on the beach
A solitary tear washes down his cheek
The party rages and the lights strobe
But in his soul he is alone

Zachary J Eakin - 7 - 13 - 19

Editing stage: 


This is imagistic, possessing a compact ferocity.

I wonder if altering the third line, making it more sparse, might make it a more intense piece. Like eliminating the first "The" and returning to your original scheme with vowel sounds also "But his soul alone".

(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.