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Killing Halloween Again...

Submitted by Geezer on Tue, 2023-10-31 12:03

The party out at Killer's house
is getting underway
There's plenty of ghosts as usual
I think some more of them today

But lively members of the Neo clan
still outnumber the dead
Everyone's invited to Killer's
a Halloween-party spread

More food, more jokes, more drinking blood
there's RoseBlack moshing with Tim
The band is in fine form this year
they've got Boris back again

The ghosts are having a good old time
moaning Gregorian chants
I think I see "lovedly" there
in the purple, sequined pants

Ah Stan my man, glad to see you
we'll walk in the woods in a bit
Just let me say hello to Obie
he's got them laughing with his wit

Let's have a beer with Sir Gee
"He likes it warm as piss"
I'll have an icy ale, myself
and Bud's one you shouldn't miss

Steaming heaps of muscles
Deltoids, quads and thighs
All basted with a secret sauce
It's a treat for hungry eyes

French fried fingers in mustard sauce
Bloodsausage done homemade
Plenty of burgers and other stuff
Look, here's Ghoster-Aid

Candlewitch is looking
for someplace to cast a spell
She wants to make a sandwich
that will be as hot as hell

Jenifer James and Lavender
Ruby Lord and Micheal too
They're all dancing up a storm
"Think they're all on shrooms?"

Clentin's throwing goatshoes
he's winning, 20 to 01
It looks as though he's grinning
and having lots of fun

Alex and Blue Eyed Bolla
Mark and Pauly Cool
dressed in costumes to be judged
not one as good as you

Killer's party is full under way
I'll bet it will be 'till dawn
We'll be finding bodies here and there
lying on the lawn

I'll go and sing with the girls of darkness
They're singing my song now
I'll wander through the kitchen
maybe get some chow

Knife-throwing and screaming contests
Why don't you have a go?
I see there is some betting
I'll back you up, you know

Damn, there's a bunch of people
I know that I have missed
I'll bet Bill Lynch is one of them
I hope he don't get pissed

Well Dear Muse, don't hold back
go on and join the fun
I expect some juicy stories
Some, I'm sure will stun

So, I'll see you in the morning
or afternoon, I think
whenever I wake up, dear girl
'cause tonight I'm gonna drink

And so away he stumbles
he's singing just a bit
Old Geezer's still got moves
and Killer's still got wits

Say goodnight my lads and lassies
Eat some food and get some drinks
Celebrate a Killer party
A great idea, don't you think?

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

neopoet

Tue, 2023-10-31 18:04

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Killing Halloween Again..." is a narrative piece that paints a vivid picture of a lively Halloween party. The use of language and imagery is effective in creating a festive and somewhat eerie atmosphere, which is fitting for the theme.

However, the poem could benefit from more consistent rhythm and meter. The irregularity of the verse lengths and the inconsistent use of rhyme can make the poem feel disjointed and can disrupt the flow for the reader. Working on a more consistent structure could enhance the overall readability and musicality of the poem.

The poem introduces a lot of characters, which can be a bit overwhelming and confusing for the reader. It might be more effective to focus on fewer characters and develop them more fully, which would allow the reader to form a deeper connection with the poem.

The poem does a good job of incorporating elements of humor and playfulness, which adds to the festive atmosphere. However, the humor could be more effectively integrated into the poem if it was more consistent and if the punchlines were clearer.

The use of dialogue in the poem is a good way to bring the characters to life and to add variety to the narrative. However, the dialogue could be more effectively used if it was more integrated into the narrative and if it contributed more to the development of the characters and the plot.

The poem could also benefit from more sensory details to make the scenes more vivid and engaging for the reader. The use of sensory details can help the reader to fully immerse themselves in the world of the poem and can enhance the overall impact of the poem.

In conclusion, while the poem does a good job of creating a festive and eerie atmosphere, it could benefit from more consistent rhythm and meter, fewer and more fully developed characters, more effectively integrated humor and dialogue, and more sensory details.

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RoseBlack

Tue, 2023-10-31 13:07

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Enjoy a Killer Halloween. Pretty sure I would win the screaming contest and knife throwing is always a blast! Well done and thanks for the invite.

~RoseBlack~

Geezer

Tue, 2023-10-31 13:16

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I hope you have a good time! ~ Geez.
.

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author comment

Lavender

Tue, 2023-10-31 16:32

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Hello, Geezer!
What a great party! My feet hurt from dancing so much! Let me know if you need help cleaning up all the bodies in the morning!
Thanks, and Happy Holler-ween!
L

Geezer

Tue, 2023-10-31 20:41

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you had a good time. Yeah, let's get together with the clean-up crew and pull all the laggards and stiffs out from the sun and make sure that they are covered up. We can send them on their way as soon as it gets dark again. Thanks for the help. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

Alex Tanner

Tue, 2023-10-31 16:38

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I've got my razor sharp blade ready, who shall be first?

Geezer

Tue, 2023-10-31 20:45

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it doesn't need to be that sharp for the throwing contests, just as long as it will stick in the target. I hear that there is a bottle of
Dragon's Breath Vodka for the winner! Side bets are the purview of the contestants. Thanks for the help in setting up the tables and the barbecue pits! ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

Candlewitch

Wed, 2023-11-01 06:50

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I volunteer to administer the smelling salts to the flagging guests. I will have them back on their feet again and ready for more fun and games! I love the holiday poem you wrote and the honorable mention! eddy styx is there in spirit form an sizing up the party guests for a little vivisection! as usual, you do us all proud!

*love, Cat

*
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Richard Milne

Thu, 2023-11-02 15:09

Thank you Mr. Prolific for the life you bring to this website. I enjoyed Killer, Skeleton and your other recent offerings, and see that you've impressed the official reviewers to win two more awards -- congrats. For some reason my stuff now gets only a "not feasible to comment" response. oh well.

Keep it coming. Your light shines brightly.

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