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Magic Cookies...

Submitted by Geezer on Wed, 2024-04-17 21:56

Baking "Magic" cookies today
staying nice, what it's all about
Start the stove, pre-heat that thing
get the ingredients out

Smell of sugar, flour, vanilla
Carmel drops and all things nice
I add the last ingredient
It's my one and only vice

Whir of mixer, relaxing
Heat of the stove, the oven
I'll get it all together
On baking pans and then...

Nice warm cookies, cup of tea
I feel the glow of magic
Couldn't be any better
My favorite cookies do the trick

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft
Contest: 
04/24 My Favorite Cookie
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

neopoet

Thu, 2024-04-18 04:00

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Magic Cookies" presents a vivid narrative of baking cookies, using sensory language to evoke the reader's senses. However, there are areas where the poem could be improved.

Firstly, the rhythm of the poem is inconsistent. For example, the first stanza has a rhythm of 6-6-5-5 syllables, while the second stanza has a rhythm of 5-5-6-6 syllables. This inconsistency can disrupt the flow of the poem and distract the reader. It may be beneficial to revise the poem to have a consistent rhythm throughout.

Secondly, the poem could benefit from more use of figurative language. While the sensory language effectively describes the baking process, the use of metaphors, similes, or personification could add depth and complexity to the poem. For instance, the line "It's my one and only vice" could be developed further with a metaphor to show why baking or the ingredient is a vice.

Lastly, the theme of "magic" is introduced in the title and referenced in the final stanza, but it is not fully explored in the poem. The poem could be strengthened by weaving this theme throughout the poem, perhaps by describing the baking process as a magical act or by comparing the cookies to magical objects.

In conclusion, while the poem effectively uses sensory language to describe the baking process, it could be improved by having a consistent rhythm, using more figurative language, and further developing the theme of "magic".

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Candlewitch

Thu, 2024-04-18 06:47

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We would love the recipe. Steven is big on baked goods and doing them himself! He is very good at it. A very laid back poem ;)

*hugs, Cat

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Geezer

Thu, 2024-04-18 08:33

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I don't think that the AI understands the use of the term "Magic" cookies. Seeing as how I am no longer allowed to smoke, because of my COPD, I take my cannabis through the use of edibles. Thus, Magic Cookies! I have gotten pretty good at it and usually have a fresh batch in about an hour and a half. I will be happy to give you the recipe in P.M.s You can substitute regular butter for the cannabis, if you wish, but they are far less "Magic" without. ~ Geez.
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author comment

William Lynn

Thu, 2024-04-18 11:26

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Hi Geeze.

I was wondering what the magic ingredient might be and now I know! In Idaho I have zero access to edibles or anything close but Nevada and Oregon are not too far away. Magic Cookies indeed!

I can smell and taste them now. Thanks! - Will

Geezer

Thu, 2024-04-18 13:25

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I'm sure that there are secret places... but, I'm glad that you enjoyed this piece. I know a lot of DIY's. We just can't afford the prices of the cannabis shops; and making them yourself is somewhat therapeutic. Again, thanks for the read and comments.
~ Geez.
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author comment

Lavender

Thu, 2024-04-18 19:41

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Hello, Geezer,
I am vegan. These sound VERY vegan! :)
Fun poem!
Lx

Geezer

Thu, 2024-04-18 23:16

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I don't know how vegan, eggs and butter are, but if you say so. I am not vegan, so I don't have any idea of what it is all about.
If you want, I will send you the recipe. Glad you enjoyed the poem, thanks for the read and comment. ~ Geez.
.

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author comment

Lavender

Fri, 2024-04-19 00:00

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No eggs and butter - just the magic!
L
(There are pretty tasty vegan alternatives for eggs, milk and butter - but, sadly, good ol' Indiana is not too cannabis friendly.)

Geezer

Fri, 2024-04-19 09:12

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that there are some alternatives for eggs and butter. It is truly unfortunate that Indiana is not cannabis friendly. I derive some great benefits from it, [pain relief] for one. Glad you got the fuzzies from this piece.

P.S. I'll still send you the recipe if you like.
~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

Mark

Thu, 2024-04-25 00:28

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Best cookies this side of the Mississippi!
I tried reading this slow - no go
Tried fast - better but still..
Had 2 cookies and it didn't matter...
Yumy,
Mark

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Geezer

Thu, 2024-04-25 08:34

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and comments, the endorsement too! ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment
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