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Judas Kiss

everything you’ve said
 whispers round to me
   here now I sit
    this warning is free
dead are my dreams
 in your pretense of care
  sweeping the misery
    as you reek of despair
A fair weather friend
 in the mirror narcissus
  your lies pave roads
   a consummate actress
I have begun to believe
 ricin flows in your veins
  everything you touch
   weeps of black stains
all poison you leach
 flows right back to me
  and as I found out
   I raged disbelief
a roaring rant
 told them they lied
  here as I weep
   the truth will not die
to my face you smile
 as fangs stroke my hair
  coaxing and pleading
   pretension webs there
a black widow spider
 masked in mortal garb
  the spear of your words
   broke my skin like a barb
through the weather of life
 in the course of the rain
  I have measured my life
   in the blood of the pain
A beaker of misery
 I add to the pot
  from friend to foe
   this cant be forgot
I’ve come to tell you
 you’ve been mistaken
  for my spirit breathes
   and is not forsaken
see I maybe down
 but honey not out
  you watch your back
   when I come I wont shout
as the Chinese whispers
 you’ve spread about me
  in this river of hate
   my agony is freed
revenge is served cold
 is something I’ve heard
  but the blood of a mongol
   pumps the heart of this bird
so watch through the night
 keep your ear to the dark
  that scratch in the wall
   carries more than a bark
from wretch to the wrath
 I have now become
  you killed all the light
    in the heart of my sun  

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

This is a very strong beautiful piece, beautiful in its formation and meaning.
I feel the words as they flow and it is more like "Pilgrims Progress" than the "Lord is my shepherd.".
The two valleys if I remember right are there in disguise, there is no need to break it for breath, as breathing is one thing we dare not do as we journey so.
This in its bareness to me is one of your best writes, but if I dwell, the eyes will begin to swell, and rolly polly tears will form.
The words portrayed a feeling and I know of these feelings.
Hold your own council to the words of others, and grasp that spark and journey with us, Yours Ian.T (Hoping not to be too deep)

The line where you use forgot:- (this can't be forgot,) would it be stronger with Forgotten on the end,???(:~)

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Your never too deep and I am happy that it affected you it was written in one sitting with much emotion I have come back to it and tidied it up some and I think in a couple of places it still needs a little work ... but like with most of my poems I let them sit between each edit it allows my mind to clear and sometimes things or words I may not have thought of will jump out at me

I am very humbled you think its some of my best work and I didnt break it down into stanza's as I thought it may take away from the rhythm of the piece and with this one there is no time to breathe

thank you for your kind and gentle review of what was a big ol' rant

love always Jayne-Chloe xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

I hope this is all poetic and not that you have been betrayed xxxx

I dont think I could have written this without being betrayed but its all water under the bridge now I am a forgiving person and this person is apart of my life once again(it will never be the same) but just the same lifes too short to hold grudges

Jayne-Chloe xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

i wrote a poem of the same name yours is beautiful x

I will go have a look for it, I wrote this one quite sometime ago but it had never been finished off properly

Jayne-Chloe xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment
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