Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Huck Finn's Nightmare

Huck Finn’s Nightmare

In realms of early morning sleep
I float on streams of time
down canyons of dark memory
beyond the reach of rhyme

ghosts of those I should have loved
and those not meant to hold
clutch at me with tendril arms
and make my soul burn cold

flashes of what might have been
things that could not be
ride with me along these currents
into a spectral sea

there to swim in unknown tides
beside my dreaming form
causing turbulent duress
that culminates in storm

nightmare waves that crash and sculpt
an unresisting shore
until the wind itself has died
and stirs the sea no more

then, abruptly, I awake
in rivulets of sweat
knowing that I now must face
those things I haven’t yet

another day of stress and strife
until the fading light
returns me once again to dream
of terrors in the night

C. Lon R. Bruso

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 


couldn't find any suggestion for change and you Know I looked lol. So here is yet one more rubber stamp from me. I like the substitution of rhyme for reason..................stan

ride with me along these currents-this line seems a syllable longer than the metre needs

the metre and rhythm are pleasing, you could try for 3 syllable rhyme words also go for 'the raw truth..' option for crits you'll get more constructive help.

(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.