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Helen

Submitted by Alex Tanner on Thu, 2024-05-23 17:49

Oh! Let me touch that marble flesh
Luminescent in soft summer's light,
My fingers reach, caress the face
That once did launch a thousand ships.

I cannot breathe,
I gasp for air
As cat like eyes on mine affix;
In eons past men died for this
In times not come they will again.

Style / type:

Free verse

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Workshop:

Earn A Poem Workshop 1

Contest:

05/24 Romance

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Comments

tyro

Thu, 2024-05-23 19:09

The first stanza is the

The first stanza is the introduction, the second stanza is the passion.
the first three lines of the second stanza, with the powerful image it presents gives full weight to the poem.

I cannot breathe,
I gasp for air
As cat like eyes on mine afix;

The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight

Alex Tanner

Sat, 2024-05-25 17:26

Hello T

Thank you for your assessment, it is appreciated. Alex

author comment

Geezer

Fri, 2024-05-24 10:36

Yes...

In times that will not come again. Helen, I remember well. The lines: "I cannot breathe
. I gasp for air..."
The effect she had on me...
~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Alex Tanner

Sat, 2024-05-25 17:27

Hi Geez.

Thanks Geez. Alex.

author comment

hippiemoon

Sat, 2024-05-25 10:07

Lovely poem, Alex!! I can

Lovely poem, Alex!! I can only hope to be desired as you describe in your writing.

the moon and the stars made us who we are <3

Alex Tanner

Sat, 2024-05-25 17:28

Hello Hippie

Thank you Hippie, I'm sure you will some day. Alex.

author comment

Neopoet

Helen