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Harvest(September's contest)

Ashes of last nights bonfire
now whisked away on the chilled air
the harvest moon reflects the fallen leaves, that snap and crunch
beneath my feet

Picking up a tumbled leaf,not quite gone it’s way
I cannot help but think of how it was
once unscathed and alive without a price
to pay

The season was kinder to it then
fresh and supple it did grow never a thought given
to the coming
snow

Yet there is a calmness in this night
as the cycle moves on and thoughts
take flight

Editing stage: 
Contest: 

Comments

That's not quite the word I want, but it will do. The language rolls a little like butter (how's that for a metaphor?).
There is also an underlying cruelty here. Talk of death and such, but then that's autumn.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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Thank you Mr. Snow that is exactly what I was trying to bring across. Yes that is a metaphor isn't it

Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)

author comment

Well the Snow arrived with a metaphor of butter that wouldn't melt in his mouth lol.
Grand write there, another month to wait to find out I am at least second lol.
Take care out there and I send you all love as warm as toast to put the butter on,
Yours as always Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

thank you

Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)

author comment

is the word wes is looking for. Regardless, a fine poem thanks for entering........stan

thnak you Yes you could say it is pensive
and you are welcome thought I'd throw something out there and see if anything bit

Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)

author comment

Excellent.
I concur. Do you concur? I concur.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
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A verb to describe a Dog that makes you do things you don't want to do,
Have a great day ya'll,
Yours Ian..

Con Cur
There is an opening for a word search and use here..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

ya'll are having fun lol I write a serious poem and you guys throw it to the dogs

Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)

author comment

Splendid, reflective, crisp. It made me connect to the mood & thoughts.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Just peekinng. This is a sublime piece of poem you've written. All the best!

Alid

thank you both very much

Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)

author comment

I wasn't picking on you. I really thought the poem was excellent and needed no revision. Then, I acted silly using a line from "Catch me if you can". It was only because I felt good for a change.
Sorry if you misunderstood.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

none needed I thought it was funny really I saw the humor in throwing the poem to the dogs it is sad that you cannot hear or see the inflection and expression so much gets mis read ask anyone that knows me well I see humor in the strangest things and get these visuals and can't stop laughing

Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)

author comment

Great to see such fun
I wasn't picking on anyone
Your write was better than mine
But given time
I shall claim the prize
I hope you also realise
I is always number two
Number one wont do
It is much too much you see
The arrow heads
Are too much for me
They adorn my lobby.
I have a set ,
for all seasons now
Can't think where
he gets them somehow.

It is getting near Sunday am practicing for my sermon LOL.
Take care Y'all
Yours Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

I'm usually moody and negative but after a week in Hawaii I'm feeling less moody and positive. Lol I like how you correlate the positive mood of summer to one of a negative autumn. And summer is life of all creatures either hiding or dying from the chill of autumn then death to the bite of winter.

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