Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Happenstance

Happenstance

The snow queen’s tears start freezing on alabaster cheeks
as the jester slices off his face
maids and minions of the court rush to lick the blood
and time bends inward leaving empty space

nothing is as nothing was, and nothing will become
the essence of itself and nothing more
fantasy is blasphemy, acceptance never real,
reality itself is but a whore

the court musicians play a dirge, the maids and minions dance
round about the dying jester’s form
outside the castle walls more angry music starts to rise
as unknown deities converge in storm

frozen tears on frozen face convey no false regret
as the queen has come to realize
so she too partakes of crimson sacrament in haste
before it disappears behind her eyes

becoming just a memory the years will steal away
( for she never knew the jester’s name ),
but maids and minions, queens and fools, and even deities
are destined to forever play their game

time has passed, the blood has dried, and all are fast asleep
the jester’s corpse now nothing more than meat
but he will live again within the flesh of castle dogs
his soul a sacrifice for all to eat

C. Lon R. Bruso

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

with that extended metaphor and imagery.
I love it all but thought the second stanza was my favorite

"nothing is as nothing was, and nothing will become
 the essence of itself and nothing more
 fantasy is blasphemy, acceptance never real,
 reality itself is but a whore"

A tiny suggestion would be ending with a few full-stops here and there and perhaps capitalizing the beginning of some lines when necessary, but of course you might discard it all if it is intended for a certain purpose.
Thanks for sharing 

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

Don't care much for the title. Seems a little modern for the piece. Just my take.

Great theme. Solid write. Took me in, start to finish. Saying that, the beginning and end worked well for me.

Thanks for the post,

Scott

Scott

great theme....Keeping with pop culture these days.
book store and television
Vampires and courts...
chieftans etc...

Thanks..enjoyed this very much Lonnie!!!

I am most appreciative of your comments and suggestions, and will savor them with all due respect!

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.